Lovers At War
by Chocoholic-vamp
Summary: They loved at a time of turmoil... Fought against prejudice and tradition... Is it worth the risk in the end? J/B AU Rated M just to be safe. Not your typical J/B story I promise! Contain lemons in later chapters.
1. Preface

**Lovers at War**

Got new beta and she worked on all the first seven chapters yeah, thank my girl Rena!!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all it characters are not mine, I mean no copyright infringement.

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**Preface**

My mind wandered to the possibilities of what could be happening an ocean away. I inwardly cringed, this was my fault, I should have known better, and even if this wasn't my crime, I had contributed. It was my job to make sure nothing happened, but he was too valuable an asset, even if they refused to admit it.

After everything I had gone through in this existence, and after surviving some of the worst times in history, this had to occur now. In our human days, society did not accept us. Now, in our afterlives, when I thought we were free from those who looked down upon us, we are reminded of the ruthlessness of our kind.

Trees, cities, lakes, rivers, I passed by it all not stopping, not resting; it wasn't as if I needed to rest. I ran, knowing I needed to find them in order to save my life, my meaning for existence. Why now? Why intervene after so many years?

I never tried to run, I knew it was wrong, that I was breaking their rules, but I could no more follow the rules than I could break them. Many knew, but no one betrayed us, of that I was sure.

They hadn't done anything, I could feel it, they were waiting for me to come to them. Like a lamb to the slaughter, surrendering to the bullshitted lies they instilled. How they would twist their true, saying that it was for the greater good of our kind, that they were protecting the secret.

I would not be so easily manipulated like others of our kind. Those who were either too easily convinced or unwillingly forced to believe them. What they weren't counting on was that I wasn't going alone; which is why I had to find them. If I didn't, I might as well just go alone to my doom, because if they took him away I had no reason to live.

I would be approaching my destination soon; and I could feel my insecurities rising. Would they help? Would they believe me or were they like the others? I had put so many in danger, could I do that to this coven, no, to this family? More questions filled my thoughts, yet that is all I ever thought about, questions. Never did I find the answers. Soon, I told myself, soon I would answer them all one by one.

A putrid smell surrounded the land where their scents began; it was old and easily meant the owners were not close. I cut through where the horrible scent had been though, not a second could be wasted, besides at the speed I was running it took only a mere second of torture to be at my destination.

The beautiful white Victorian style house came into view. All of them were standing outside; I thought they were expecting me. Yet, as soon as my figure came into view all of their eyes, with one exception, conveyed one emotion - utter confusion. Those once sky blue eyes looked a mixture of pain, shock, and love; I longed to make the initial two disappear.

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A/N: This is the first of my previously unbeta'd chapters, but it's fixed and we can move on!


	2. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

Got new beta and she worked on all the first seven chapters yeah, thank my girl Rena!!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all it characters are not mine, I mean no copyright infringement.

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**Chapter 1 – Slow Dancing in a Burning Room**

Austin, Texas 1862

The scorching heat I felt in this dress usually would not bother me, but when combined with a ballroom full of the rich and arrogant of this little Texan town, it was damn near unbearable. As I saw my mother mingle with her childhood friends, who she had recently become reacquainted with, my mind began to wonder as to how we got here.

My father, Charles Swan, though not very rich was a respectable man from the north; he lived here for a brief period with his parents. It was during that time that he met my mother, Renee Henderson and believed he had fallen madly in love, though the same could not be said for her. She thought she saw a man with money and status. After they married my father wanted to go back to his roots and return to the Washington Territory, my mother was obliged to follow, as she was his wife and with child.

Six months ago, my mother after almost 19 years of marriage decided she would leave my father to support her fellow southerners and return to her "true home". I was not so willing. I love the cold and greenery of the northern territories. As with most young women I preferred my father. He would teach me his views on morals and the satisfaction that came with some good-old fashion hard work. While my mother attempted to instill in me that a woman's duty was the impression she made to the public. They both strongly disagreed with each other and were in constant fights, it would be inevitable for a separation to happen, what I wish was that I had not had to be dragged to Texas for it to happen.

I kept moving across the room looking for an exit of sorts where I could discreetly escape into the freshness of the outside. The need for fresh air was making it difficult to think straight. Which is why I did not have the chance to avoid the flesh wall I hurdled into when my foot caught on my dress until it was too late.

Whoever this person was must have been quite strong for he only stumbled back a few steps avoiding anyone else in my line of destruction. When I looked up I saw the most amazing pools of light blue that I had ever seen. I was dumbfounded and rendered unable to keep my wits about me to realize he was speaking to me. I shook my head enough to clear some of the fog that had accumulated there to hear what he was saying.

"Are you alright Miss? You took quite a stumble there," he said in the most enticing southern drawl I had heard to date.

His eyes screamed of the deepest concern for my well being, that my wittiest remark to ease his suffering was "uhum." He chuckled as I felt my cheeks flush a deep crimson, making my embarrassment known.

When I finally managed to clear my head completely of the fog that had rendered me incompetent, I realized his hands were still around my waist where I figured he had placed them to help maintain me in a relatively upright position. Immediately, I righted myself, making sure I had nothing out place and thanked him with the manners my mother had instilled so many years ago. When I looked up, I was finally able to see him in his whole stature. He was tall, those captivating blue eyes were framed by a head of honey colored locks and you could see under his suit that he was built but not in an excess.

"Thank you, Mr...." I trailed off hoping he would finish my sentence, and I would learn who it was that saved me from being the laughing stock my mother feared me to be.

"Jasper Whitlock, and it was my pleasure Miss...." with an amused glint in his eyes he repeated the same action I had performed with him just seconds ago.

"Isabella Swan, Mr. Whitlock."

A flash of recognition passed his eyes. "Ah, You are the new comers my mother was raving about, your fathers a yank ain't he?" A hint of indignation hit me when I heard the disparagement at the word "yank" as if he'd rather be burned than be seen with one.

Squaring my shoulders I looked straight into his eyes that held less of a power over me after his comment and said, "Yes he is, as am I." The conviction in my voice made him take a step back.

"My apologies I did not mean to offend you..." I cut him off my rage increasing

"But you disapprove, and do not deny my statement - it was clear in your voice when you described him as a "yank," I stated in the same manner he had.

His eyes started to wonder off as I noticed that he was making sure no one was listening to our slight display of disagreement. It was then that I became aware of my surroundings, and my need to escape from the small crowded ballroom increased. I was about to excuse myself when from out of I have no idea where, my mother appeared at my side grinning like the mad woman she was.

"Isabella, finally where have you been? There are people you need to meet!" she chastised, ignoring the handsome young man standing next to me witnessing our exchange. When my eyes drifted towards his I saw what seemed like compassion and understanding for me, as if he had been through the same thing countless times. My heart melted a bit for that look alone.

She saw were my eyes had drifted and they lit up like fireflies on a summer night.

"Oh! Hello, Renee Henderson. Who might this handsome young gentleman be?" she said, completely ignorant of the disapproving look I gave when she stated her last name as Henderson, as if my father never existed.

"Jasper Whitlock, ma'am. It is a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Henderson," he said as he kissed the back of her hand and bowed as a sign of respect.

"Oh no, no!! It's Miss, and what a pleasure it is I spoke to your mother and father not too long ago - lovely people! Oh Isabella you would just be delighted by them!"

I was becoming scared by the look in her familiar green eyes. I could see the wheels turning behind them. Jasper must have seen my apparent desperation to end this conversation before it entered a territory I was not in the least looking forward to, because at the moment a slow waltz began to be played by the musicians he said, "Of course Miss Henderson" obviously using the miss and Henderson to appease her "but I was actually about to ask Miss Isabella here to a waltz, shall we?"

He finished extending his right hand towards me, and seeing it as my only hope of escape I placed my left hand feeling a small spark. I held in a small gasp seeing in his eyes that he had felt it too, I let him lead me to the middle of the dance floor.

Upon reaching our destination, his right hand came to rest on the small of my back making a small shiver run up my spine in the unusually warm room as I rested my left in his forearm, he then took my right hand in his left feeling another shock, though it was fainter than the last, it was still evident that it happened again, and we started to dance slowly around the floor.

"See I'm not as bad as you make me out to be Miss Isabella," he gave a slight smirk at his own comment making him look even more enticing than before, yet incredibly arrogant.

"Mr. Whitlock, for saving me twice in one night you may address me as Bella but you will have to work harder, to have me believing that you are not as bad as I make you out to be." Using his own words on my assumption against him, I gave my own smirk.

"Well Miss Bella, you can call me Jasper, and I plan on working as hard as I can to change your mind," he drawled and looking back into his eyes.

I would have fallen on my knees if we were not twirling slowly to the rhythm of the melody playing around us. Just by the determination and another hidden emotion I had not seen on anyone use on me before now.

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A/N: Beta'd


	3. All at Once

Got new beta and she worked on all the first seven chapters yeah, thank my girl Rena!!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all it characters are not mine, I mean no copyright infringement.

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**Chapter 2 – All at Once**

It was hard to believe a week had gone by since the ball. After our dance I had the overwhelming urge to jump into Jaspers arms and kiss him senseless, I could not believe those thoughts were even crossing my mind. Instead, I turned around, even though I found it very rude, and walked away leaving him stunned in the middle of the dance floor. Since then my thoughts have been racked with an unknown guilt, which was quite disturbing to me. Why should I feel guilty? The man was a rebel, siding with those who opposed the equality of man. Just thinking about it made my blood boil and at the same time elicited feelings I had never experienced in my somewhat young life.

After a week of constant battles in my head over what was I thought was right and what I felt, we heard from the Whitlocks. His mother was inviting us over for an afternoon of fresh Texan air and tea. My mother was ecstatic as she thought we would make the perfect married couple, which in truth made him even less appealing. She would not take any protestations from me, and insisted that I find my best dress and pin my hair up in tight hairnet so it would expose "my beautiful neck." I hated when she attempted to make me seem more than what I truly was. It was true I was not what could be called ugly, but I was not beautiful either. If I had to describe myself, I would say I was average.

Armed in a forest green, off the shoulder dress detailed with black lace on the bodice, I felt as if I was an overdressed porcelain doll. This was not me - I would much rather have been in my working dress and help clean out the stalls of the horses than enduring an afternoon of idle chatter and gossip between two old friends.

As we exited the carriage, I looked around and even I must admit their plantation was breathtaking. Around the house you could see nothing but a small green hill of well kept lawn, which was quite rare for Texas, and colorful flowers surrounded the front of a massive colonial style white house. [A/n: think of the Carmichael plantation in sweet home Alabama] When we neared the steps, the door swung opened to reveal none other than Jasper himself, and the image that I been carrying all week did not do him the justice he deserved.

"Ah Miss Henderson, my mother will be pleased to know you've arrived, she will be out back waiting for you."

She followed his orders and went through to the back of the house, but before I could do the same he took hold of my arm and nudged his head in the opposite direction my mother had taken.

"Do you mind taking a walk with me? I need to remind you I still have to make you see my good side." He quirked his eyebrow making me swoon, I was reduced to answering with a simple nod.

"I see you open your own doors, that's quite humble of you." I said.

"Well I only opened it so I could see you first." He responded shamelessly, as if it was second nature to him to do such things.

I was sure my cheeks were at least two shades darker, and when I heard his chuckle I knew my assumption was right.

In an attempt to change the direction this conversation took, I commented on how beautiful the land is here.

"I'm accustomed to trees, and moss as far as the eye can see and here you can see towards the end of town without a single obstruction. It's refreshing and frightening at the same time."

"Well, our house grounds are taken care of by my mother - she favors gardening to relax her stress over my father and her eldest at war. Now what do you mean by frightenin'? If I were you and by what I know of you, I'd find it freein'."

"That's what is so refreshing but being here means absolutely the opposite for me. When I was up north with my father, even if the trees restricted most of my eyesight, father would allow me to roam and I would hike. There I was free, here I'm not. If my mother has it her way I will be in a loveless marriage before I even turn 18 years of age. Which would make me imprisoned here, making this place absolutely frightening." I unconsciously revealed, amazed at how easily I could open up to him. By the look that grazed his face he was not expecting such an honest answer either.

"I supposed that makes sense. What happened with your father that ya'll moved down here?"

That question was a step into uncharted waters that I was not ready to face. I stiffened and thought of a quick way to change the subject, "You mentioned your mother gardens for stress relief? That's interesting."

If he noticed my attempt to change the subject, he did not voice it, but I could see in his eyes that he understood that I was not so open to discuss my whole life.

"No it's not really interestin'. What's really interestin', is you would think that she'd just fix up a small little corner of the plantation..." he trailed of chuckling at what he was remembering, immediately bringing a smile to my face. He looked so peaceful and playful with that look that I never wanted to see him without it.

"... one day she just put on a workin' dress, took a shovel and butchered the entire front lawn of the house, most of the workers thought she was insane. We all drew straws to see who would be the one to brave the line and ask her what she planned on doin'. Guess who got the short one?" he gave me a pointed look and I imagined Jasper with a scared face. Being the one to have the honors of the daunting task, it was impossible not to laugh, but I managed to only giggle and point at him to answer his question.

With a defeated nod he continued "So there I was standin' right in front of her watchin' as she pulled flowers and weeds left n' right, when she snaps her head back and asks 'Need somethin' darlin' I'm quite busy n' I don't have time for ya'lls gawkin' and whisperin' about whether I'm goin' crazy or not.' She knew the whole time we were watchin' to see if she would break down and after that response I chickened out and never asked" he kept explaining how she never quit, even with the Texan sun torturing her.

"At the end of it all, the house looked amazin', almost as if we live in constant spring weather." I could just imagine it going from something mediocre to something breathtaking like what I was first introduced to back at the carriage.

"Why did she do it in the end?" I was curious as to her reasons.

"She said she didn't want to feel useless sittin' around while Pops and my brother were workin' with the local soldiers and the only way she could think of to help was to take care of the house since they were taking care of the town." He paused, taking a deep breath and gathering his thoughts.

"I even asked her why she did the whole thing herself only usin' help for the heavy liftin'. Her exact words were 'Jasper, why would I improve one little corner and not make the whole plantation beautiful, just because it's a little more work'. That shut me up, and that's a true story, all the beauty you see around it's because of her."

I was stunned; like she said, most women worked a small amount of space and used help. My mother once tried to fix up the house up north and quit after two days saying the rain ruined everything.

I stopped short when something he said struck me. "You have a brother?"

"Have, had, it's a relative term. But that's a subject for another time. It seems you have to leave Miss Bella."

When I looked around, I noticed that we were at the front of the house again and my mother was standing there looking quite angry, yet she had not noticed us standing here.

"Till next time, Isabella."

Something about the way he said my full name made my skin tingle in the most pleasurable way.

"Yes, until we meet again Jasper," we had unconsciously drifted closer together. He had my hand in his, rubbing his thumb across my knuckles, the emotions emanating from his eyes were like a current running from his body to mine. I felt his sweet breath in my face and my eyes started to drift close...

"ISABELLA MARIE, WE ARE LEAVING NOW!"

Shocking both of us apart, I felt my cheeks inflamed thinking about what was about to happen just seconds ago. Jasper appeared to snap out of our haze first, and bowed, kissing the back of my hand instead.

"Goodbye Bella." I nodded, still unable to speak and frankly desperate to be out of the awkward air surrounding us.

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A/N: Beta'd


	4. Real World

Got new beta and she worked on all the first seven chapters yeah, thank my girl Rena!!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all it characters are not mine, I mean no copyright infringement.

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**Chapter 3 – Real World**

The ride towards our house was filled with an uncomfortable silence. I could tell my mother was angry at something or someone.

Once we had entered the house, my patience grew thin and I had to say something.

"Mother, what is the matter with you?" I said exasperatedly.

She whirled around with a wild look in her eyes that scared even the likes of me.

"You are never to see that boy again! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"

"Wha..Who?" I stuttered unable to understand what she was trying to say.

My subconscious had a sneaking suspicion, I did not like where this was heading.

"That Whitlock boy, you are to stay away from all of them, you are forbidden to make any contact with them!"

I don't know why, but at this revelation my heart clenched and I felt like I could hardly breathe.

"Mother, stop being unreasonable. Listen to yourself, you are acting like a mad woman!" even I was yelling now.

The whole town could probably hear our exchange by now.

"Do not talk back to me Isabella, you will do as I say and not continue a relationship with that boy!" she spat the last words as if they were venom burning her mouth.

"That Boy' has been my only friend. Please mother, I don't want to marry him, he is just a friend. We have conversations like I used to have with father, not idle meaningless blabber like all the other girls in this town! Please don't make me give that up. Why bring this on now? What happened to make you dislike them so much in one afternoon?"

My mind was frantic; I could not form a coherent thought, let alone words. My chest was closing in and tears were threatening to spill from me eyes.

"I should have never let you spend so much time with your father. Listen to you talk about this boy as your FRIEND, women and men cannot be friends Isabella, and it is about time you know that!"

"Now you will go up to your room and I do not want to hear another word of this, is that understood!" she was fuming, and I could not hold myself any longer.

I ran towards my room, not wanting her to see me breaking down. As I collapsed in my bed, my body was taken over with sobs as my heart felt as if it would burst from the pain.

It was difficult for me to come to terms with this, but I would never be able to see Jasper Whitlock ever again.

**Jpov (I know YAY! But I'm a little reluctant; I just want you guys to see the other side of the coin. So to speak.)**

She was remarkably beautiful, both inside and out. Her deep brown eyes held such knowledge and maturity, yet at the same time they gave away innocence and virtue that with many women had been lost. Her beautiful mahogany hair had a unique red shine in the sun as we walked around the grounds surrounding my family's land, that I found myself entranced with it on many occasions. I could still hear her bell like voice recounting her fears and sharin' parts of who she was, pullin' me deeper into a hole that I had no intentions of diggin' myself out off; even if it meant getting' ambushed by the enemy.

Damn, we were so close I could've sworn I could taste her, but her momma was about ready to catch fire from how angry she looked. Looks like she didn't like the afternoon tea. I stood outside until the carriage disappeared in the distance. As soon as I entered the foyer of my family's house my momma assaulted me.

"Jasper, oh thank God and the heavens you're ok!" she exclaimed.

"Momma, what happened?" I was starting to panic she was actin' like I had just crossed the line of fire without lookin' to see if it was ok.

"Oh, just that Renee woman comin' down here, wantin' to marry off that daughter of hers. I swear if she could marry herself off for money she would throw that girl on the side of the next dirt road."

Had I just heard what I thought I heard?

"You mean to say Renee Henderson came here to ask you, that I marry Isabella?" I was baffled and slightly excited at the thought of that beautiful woman being my companion.

I knew she was scared of being tied down, after she confessed why she was apprehensive about livin' here.

"Jasper, don't indulge the woman. She is still, and forever by the grace of God, will be Mrs. Renee Henderson-Swan, no matter that a piece of paper or her actions say otherwise. Yes, and I won't stand for arranged marriages like that. You know I disapprove of forcing two people into a union that neither want to be in."

I contemplated telling her, about my growing feelings toward Bella, she wouldn't oppose if she new how we felt, right?

My mother was the kindest person; she believed that no one should be forced to do anything that they were not compliant to. That included marriage, she was very lucky when she met my father, they were friends from a young age and eventually fell in love.

"You, my boy, are going to one day find that young beauty, who you will fall madly in love with and the Swans will forever be forgotten!" her voice held an authority that left no more room for discussion.

I felt a pang of something in my chest; it was slightly painful and discomforting. It felt that the more my mother made up her mind about my not even courting Isabella, the bigger the hole and the more pain increased.

"I need to be excused mother." I left before she could respond.

The only reason I would ever call her mother was when I was upset, and I was not giving her the opportunity to question why. That night I made decision; it was impossible for me to stay away from Bella. No matter what, I would talk to Isabella Swan again. I needed to.

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A/N: Beta'd


	5. Check Yes Juliet

Got new beta and she worked on all the first seven chapters yeah, thank my girl Rena!!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all it characters are not mine, I mean no copyright infringement.

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**Chapter 4 – Check Yes Juliet**

**NPOV (No ones point of view)[maybe this will help it flow better]**

_Bella was kneeling over working in a vegetable garden, about to pick up a basket of freshly plucked carrots, when she felt the strong arms of her husband around her lowly rounded belly. She leaned back and sighed relaxing into his chest. _

_"Darlin' you shouldn't be in the sun too long, remember last time?" she frowned remembering how worried he had been when she collapsed upon entering the house. _

_"I know but the carrots where just right and you know I have been craving stewed carrots."_

_He did know this but he also knew she would tire herself more _

_"Come inside sweetheart and I will cook the carrots, you should rest. If not for me, for this little man" he said as he rubbed soothing circles on her abdomen._

_ "Fine" she said, "But you will follow all of my directions. Make one mistake and I will kick you out of my kitchen" the laughter in her voice lifted his spirit just like the first time he ever laid eyes on her._

_Both walking towards their cozy cabin, he stopped just before the threshold and turned her to face him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, which still surprised her do to her current waist size, pulled her close and leaned down until their foreheads touched. _

_"I love you Isabella Marie Whitlock, don't you ever doubt these words, you hear me!" his deep voice now took a huskier sound from how close they were._

_ "I love you too Jasper, I wouldn't trade us for all the riches in the world."_

_Unable to resist he captured her lips in his. This kiss was fierce and passionate mixed with desperation, as if should one the let go the other would disappear. His tongue swept across her bottom lip asking for entrance which she freely granted. Even though this kiss was rough and hungry, filled with a desire neither of them knew they had, it was also filled with love and hidden tenderness. A perfect representation of their love, thought Bella._

_Carrots forgotten, Jasper picked up Bella bridal style entering the cabin heading to their bedroom. As gently as he could, he laid her down in the middle of the bed, his hands roaming everywhere on her body, squeezing lightly over her supple breast making Bella gasp into their kiss. His hands found the buttons of her dress and as quickly as he could, he undid them, at the same time Bella had both his jacket and shirt off, landing somewhere in the suddenly overheated room._

_Their breathing was labored; desperate to be connected in the most intimate of ways their hands were everywhere. Soon enough, it was only Bella in her chemise and Jasper in his drawers. Bella felt Jaspers hands running up her thighs as she licked and nipped at the base of his neck, eliciting moans and whimpers from his chest._

_"Make love to me Jasper" she said as she finished pushing down his last article of clothing. _

_The room was suddenly filled with the sound of her gasps for breath as she felt his fingers entering her hot wet center. Feeling how wet and ready she was, he lifted her chemise and in one swift motion he withdrew his fingers and entered her._

_They both sighed at the feeling of being so completed by each other. Jasper started slowly thrusting in and out of his wife's tight insides, as she wrapped her legs around his waist making him go deeper. They were both so close to the edge, panting, unable to form coherent thoughts. Just as they were about to fall of the edge together they whispered 'I love you' and…_

Jasper and Bella both woke up with a start, panting for breath, unable to form rational explanations for what they had dreamt, unaware that just a few miles away the other was doing the exact thing.

~*~

Isabella Swan tried her hardest not to think about the handsome blonde, but when he kept plaguing her dreams. Not all being as explicit as that first but all being suggestive as to her growing feelings toward the young Whitlock.

Her mother was out again for the third time that week without explanation, leaving Bella suspicious of her whereabouts. Though Bella was not about to confront her, the air in the house was still tense since she had forbidden her daughter from making contact with her only friend. Jasper, apparently had also decided to ignore her, for she hadn't heard from him since that fateful afternoon. She feared he would think her some kind of whore for being so forward, but when she thought it through, like the educated woman she was, she had to admit that the same desire she felt as they leaned closer was reflected in his eyes. Then the dream she had gone over the dream so many times, Bella was positive she could give the exact measurement of each carrot she plucked. It was difficult to sort out the feelings that passed through her when she felt Jasper behind her, his body molding to hers; or the unequivocal happiness when she looked at where his hands rested and saw her protruding stomach, ripe with their child.

She kept telling herself he was her friend. She shouldn't want to be his wife and bear his child. They barely knew each other, she was keeping secrets from him that she was not ready to share and she was positive that even as composed as he seemed to be, Jasper had his own mystery hidden behind those light blue orbs.

No, she would not dwell on what could have been in life. No matter how much the woman infuriated her, she would not disobey her mother. She would just have to bear life, enclosed in the small little library in the house, escaping to worlds were love triumphed. Never admitting to anyone, including herself, that the main couple in the story took the forms of Jasper and herself each and every time.

~*~

It was past supper, his parents having retreated for bed already, and Jasper just sat staring at the ceiling of his bedroom pondering. He had worked in the stables today, helping groom the horses and clean out the stalls. He often did this to relieve his stress, and his father had started talking to him about joining the army as soon as he was of age. Adding even more to the insurmountable list of tasks he had to consider for his future.

While his mother had not brought up the subject of Bella and her mother again, she was getting more suggestive towards him finding a suitable girl for himself. What she didn't know, was that for the last two weeks he had been plotting on a rendezvous with Bella. The obstacle was that he never had the chance to ask her. No way to slip a note to her, or whisper a location and time.

It wasn't as if he hadn't seen her, twice his mother had sent him on an errand in town and he had spotted her; but as soon as he made eye contact, she would disappear with her oblivious mother. He spotted Renee more often than Bella, and the glares she would send his way would make even the bravest men cower in fear and cover their family jewels.

Plotting was becoming incredibly difficult with each passing second and with his parent's insistence, he was slowly going insane. Unable to stay lying on his bed, he found his way to the immense office his father would occupy while at home.

He walked directly to the giant bookcase and grabbed the first one his hand could reach. As soon as he took a seat in an overstuffed leather chair, he looked down and had an overwhelming urge to laugh and cry at the same time. In his hands was not just any book, but Shakespeare's tragic romance _Romeo and Juliet._ What were the odds?

Resigned to fate he read for the rest of the night until his eyes were barely able to stay awake and words were no longer in their corresponding order.

~*~

Another week passed. Both teenagers fell more into depressive states. Bella hardly said two words to her mother. She would follow orders and when left alone she would read or work around the house. Other than that, she was a shell of the girl that had spent an afternoon with Jasper Whitlock.

While Jasper was deep in thought, you could compare him for a general preparing for a major attack. After a long and hard process his plan of action was set into motion.

~*~

At that very moment, one Isabella Swan was opening her door to a messenger. He handed her a waxed sealed note with no return address, just "Miss Bella "written in impeccable script.

Her heart rate increased, _maybe it's a friend of mother's inviting me to tea _she thought unconvincingly. She turned the envelope over and ran her hands over the wax seal. There was no imprint in it. It was now or never. Maybe he just wanted to exchange mail… but she knew even then, that was out of the question as she remembered her mother's exact words. _"You are to not have any contact with them!"_

All this time she was wasting, her mother could walk through the door any second and snatch the letter right out of her hand. Then she would never learn its contents. _Now or never _she thought as she ripped the seal with her finger, unfolded the piece of paper, and started reading.

_My dearest Bella,_

_But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that thou her maid art far more fair than she!_

_Please my fair Juliet, leave your window open two nights from this, I have to... no need to see you. Don't let others define you, that is not the Isabella I have come to adore._

_Till we see each other again,_

_Your Romeo_

Bella could not believe he had quoted Shakespeare. He had obviously thought ahead and failed to mention his name, but she new it was her Jasper.

_Look at me, my Jasper? No I cannot, _she thought to herself.

He had given her the option, yet at the same time, she felt her heart had already decided. It was just a matter of her head agreeing.

_It would only be one visit, and then I let him know it can never happen again. _

Yes, she thought, that would be the prudent solution.

~*~

Two nights passed in a blur, but to both Jasper and Bella it felt like an eternity. Jasper's anxiety about whether or not she had accepted his proposal, and Bella's anticipation to see him again made time pass exceedingly slow.

Supper passed in both households with the parents discreetly noticing their children's impatient states.

Renee became more vocal than the Whitlocks, chastising her daughter for choking down her food. Saying that was not how she taught her to eat at the table and there was no need to hurry. Believing her to be in a hurry to get back to reading, which aggravated Renee even more.

So there was Bella lying on her bed staring at the ceiling waiting, her candle still lit at her beside table. Not even her books offered an escape to ease her mind.

Meanwhile Jasper had managed to climb out of his second story window without breaking any bones. Here was the hard part of his plan - entering the stable undetected, saddling a horse, and riding out without anyone hearing or seeing him. He crept very quietly towards Leroy, his favorite, while constantly soothing him. Jasper managed to strap the saddle on without too much ruckus from him or the other horse.

He contemplated bringing Sally along with him and taking Isabella riding but left the idea for a later date. Once out of the barn he mounted Leroy, and rode off into the woods, unaware that someone was watching his departure.

* * *

A/N: Beta'd


	6. Iris

Got new beta and she worked on all the first seven chapters yeah, thank my girl Rena!!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all it characters are not mine, I mean no copyright infringement.

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Iris**

A soft knock on her window caused Bella to awaken from the light sleep she had fallen into.

She lifted her head, slightly disoriented, until she remembered why she had fallen asleep still wearing her working dress. Her heart was racing - she could not figure what to do first. A war was waging in her head, it was only one time, one meeting, and she promised it would be fleeting. No one would ever know he was here, right? There was a mirror near her vanity, maybe she should at least make sure she was presentable. One look into the mirror and her once perfectly pinned up hair looked like an eagle had attempted to nest there.

After pulling all the pins out, her hair cascaded down in her soft natural curls. Having loosened her hair she quickly took her comb and ran it through her hair until it was silky and smooth. Satisfied with her appearance, she ran as quietly and quickly as she could, managing to trip but catching herself on her last leg to the window, she opened it.

The first thing that graced her eyes was the solemn look on Jasper's ruggedly handsome face. Her heart faltered, she didn't like seeing that look on his face, almost like he had given up all hope in life. There was a part of her brain, or was it her heart that felt that if he gave up hope, there would be nothing left for them. That hurt more to think about than anything she had ever experienced.

~*~

After securing Leroy to the fence around the property, Jasper was hopeful when he first arrived at the two-story house. It was small compared to the living space that he was used to. He rounded the house in his attempt to figure where her room was. This was becoming harder than he thought; there was no open window. Maybe he said unlocked and not open in the letter.

His hope was dwindling until he saw the slight glow of a candle on a first floor window. Creeping as quietly as he could, he neared the window and saw the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen lying on the bed fast asleep.

A battle was waging in his head at that very moment. She looked so peaceful, he didn't want to disturb her. On the other hand, if she had waited up for him, would she be disappointed if he just walked away? He pushed slightly at the window to see if it would open, but to his utter disappointment it was locked.

Now what? Did this mean she had rejected his request to see him? Then why was she in a dress on top of the bed?

_Two taps, _he thought,_ if she doesn't wake up and open the window you walk away and let her be. _

And that is what he did. Two taps was all it took for Isabella Swan to awaken, albeit a little ungracefully; but to Jasper she was like sleeping beauty. How he longed to kiss her and be the prince that awoke her. He saw her head to the vanity and loosen her hair. He had imagined how beautiful that it would be without its pinned prison. Never in his life would he have thought it was so long and lustrous, he longed to run his fingers through it.

She turned around, unlocked and opened the window. It took a few seconds for Jasper to register she had opened the door and was speaking to him. "…fallen asleep."

"Sorry, darlin' what?"

"I said I'm sorry for not unlocking or leaving the window open. I was waiting to see if you'd really come, and I didn't want to look like a fool waiting, looking out my window. I must have fallen asleep. Don't think I did not want to see you Jasper, I…missed you." Bella was rambling, they both knew, yet Jasper found it adorable.

Bella, unable to stop herself, turned a deep shade of crimson from embarrassment.

"You would never look like a fool Bella, and I missed you also. Things have gotten out of hand but we don't have to let that control us, right?"

Jasper's heart broke when he saw the war flashing in her deep brown eyes. He did not like being the cause of that distress. She quickly masked the emotions running rampant in her eyes but Jasper knew. He could feel that she was still conflicted but at what?

"Jasper, step out of the cold night and come in. I feel strange speaking to you through an open window."

He laughed, a real lighthearted laugh and said, "Yes, I bet it feels like being in Romeo and Juliet's balcony scene."

Bella smiled at the comparison, but could help to thinking that, that couple didn't end up well from sneaking around.

Jasper climbed into the room through the window while Bella watched slightly jealous at his gracefulness. Once he was standing in the room he looked around examining her room as if to get insight on the girl that had plagued his mind for so long. The room was simple. What appeared to be a four-post wrought-iron bed was towards the center of the wall on his left. A vanity sat opposite to the bed, in the corner near the window was a rather large seat. It appeared at first glance to be a sofa but it was too small for that, yet it was too big for a single chair. Next to that was a rather small bookcase. When Bella noticed him looking she followed his line of vision.

"Those are my favorites, I have more in the library. I just like having those near me for when I'm unable to sleep."

Jasper could see the love for knowledge and books she felt. He made a promise at that moment to take her to the large library at his house. Positive she would fall over herself with so many books around for her to explore.

Unable to stand for idle chitchat, Jasper dove into what needed to be said, "Why were you ignoring me Bella? Every time I would see you, you'd run out of site with your mom."

"You ignored me too Jasper!" she whisper-screamed, just fearing she would shout if she tried a normal tone of voice.

"Bella, every time I tried to walk towards you to just say "Hello", you'd run. I know you didn't want your eyes to betray you; you longed to see me, to talk to me. Why didn't you, what held you back?" in the end his tone turned to pleading with her to open up her heart to him; to tell him the truth once and for all.

"My mother-"

"No! No Isabella don't use your mother as en excuse. I saw you plenty of times without her on the streets and you still turned away from me. Why?" He cut her off.

"I don't know" tears started to stream down her face.

It broke Jasper's heart to see her let go of all the emotions she'd reined in since her move. Two steps was all it took for Jasper to have her wrapped in his strong, comforting arms.

She clutched his now tear stained shirt while he gently rub up and down her back whispering soothing words in her ear.

"Shh, darlin' it's ok, your fine, I'm here. OK, it's going to be ok." He repeated until her sobs calmed down to slight hiccups.

"Jasper, I am sorry, it scares me that I care so much for you." Jasper's heart swelled at her words while unknowingly a smile crept on his face. But just as soon as it came, it was gone when he saw the broken girl in his arms.

"I should not have run, but what am I to do? My mother is completely against anything to do with your family. I do not even know why. And it is becoming increasingly difficult to stay away from you." he moved them to sit in her large chair with her on his lap and her head on his shoulder. Each felt a sense of completion in the others arms, like two pieces of an unsolved puzzle coming together. With both of his hands on the sides of her face, he wiped her tear stained cheeks. "Bella it will be fine. I don't want to stay away either, but I do know what happened that afternoon between our mothers. At least part…" her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Your mother had ulterior motives regarding the tea. For her, it was more about us than recapturing her friendship. She came to… offer your hand. She wanted to arrange a marriage, Bella." She buried her face into her hands and groaned "Oh no! I swear I did not know that Jasper."

"I know Bella, my mother refused her. They exchanged some heated words and a friendship ended in a matter of hours." He was attempting to sound soothing, when she suddenly sprung out of his arms, he could see she was angry.

"Why did she refuse? Am I not good enough for you, does she believe we are so below her?" the words were out of her before she could think them. Jasper seeing where her mind had turned, was fast to put a stop to it. "No Bella! You have it all wrong, she refused because my momma doesn't believe in arranged marriages n' she thinks Renee's just treatin' you like an investment. Her assessment was that you would leave in the long run like Renee did to your father."

"So she believes I am some gold digging whore?!" she had forgotten their location and raised her voice louder than intended. Jasper panicked and flew out of the chair covering her mouth with his hand and wrapped his other arm around her waist to calm her. With his mouth near her ear he whispered sternly "Isabella". The way he said her name made her body tingle in the most delicious way. "Never call yourself a whore, for you are nothing of the sort. My mother merely stated that you would be unhappy being forced to marry a man because Renee said so. She didn't want me to have my heart broken or be stuck in an unhappy marriage. I wanted to find love, you know that special woman that made my heart race and my palms sweat. She has me on my knees with one glance my way."

Bella felt a pang when he described this perfect girl. She could not help but wonder who she was. What made her so special to have his heart so completely wrapped in her hands? She was probably beautiful compared to her plain features.

Jasper knew what he was doing to her, but he couldn't believe how easily she could discount herself. "Do you know who this girl is Bella?" Since his hand was still over her mouth, she could only shake her head 'no'. "It's only the most beautiful girl in the world, a Miss Isabella Marie Swan." Those words hit like a steam train filled with happiness.

He turned her around and whispered "Do you promise not to raise your voice if I let you go?" she nodded slowly to prove her point. "Alright" he slowly lowered his hand from her mouth but kept his other firmly planted on her waist. They looked into each others eyes, neither knowing what to say.

"Did you mean what you said, you… love me?" she barely whispered the last part of her question. Had the room not been permeated with a tension filled silence, he would never have been able to hear her.

She tilted her head downward, forming a curtain with her hair. Jasper took a deep breath and took her chin between his index and his thumb. He tilted her head so she would look straight into his eyes, "Yes, I love you." "But we barely know each other, how could you love me, how do you even know what love is?" he felt the pain of knowing she hadn't said it back, but he had to consider what she said. They barely knew each other.

"Does this mean you don't?" he had to ask, "No, I mean yes… I don't know. It's too soon, how can I love you? You make me feel things I have never felt before, but I don't know if that is love…"

"Bella do you know how I know my love for you is real?" she shook her head. "Because the mere thought of not being near you for more than a second makes my heart ache. I couldn't stay away from you; I took so damn long to come here because if you rejected me it would hurt too much. I may not know all that lies behind your beautiful brown orbs, but I do know with everything that I am that I love you." By now, tears were again streaming down her face, but instead of sadness, Jasper saw a faint smile grace her lips.

"I…I feel the same about you. I…think…" they drew closer still his free hand went to the back of her neck. Both of their breathing had become shallow, her brain turned to mush and she was unable to finish her own confession. Seeing no other way to say to him the words that failed to come out of her mouth, she opted to show him instead. Foreheads touching, their noses skimming on their tips, lips only millimeters from each other's; she broke the distance with one soft touch of her lips to his. Fireworks erupted behind their eyelids, slowly the kiss built up. Carrying the tension from the night, the longing they had both felt during the weeks of absence. The kiss became less tame when his tongue slipped from his mouth begging for entrance into hers. Bella's lips parted eagerly granting his tongue the pleasure of battling with hers.

A sudden noise from the floor above them broke them apart, both with panic stricken faces, fearing they may have been found out. "Bella…I…" he stuttered trying to communicate he had to leave. "GO! But come back tonight please, I will leave the window unlocked."

"Of course, I'll see you tonight!" as he went to climb out, they noticed the first rays of sunshine beginning to appear in the dark blue sky. With one last peck on her beautiful pouty lips he ran off to where she figured he had left a horse.

Neither managed to sleep for the rest of the morning. Jasper pretended to have been up very early working in the stalls to explain his being awake before his parents. Working without sleep or food until lunch, he managed to sleep 2 measly hours before dinner.

Bella on the other hand took advantage of her mother's absence in the house that day and slept the hours she had lost but never regretted the lack of sleep. A smile graced her lips as she dreamt of her own personal Romeo, Jasper Whitlock.

* * *

A/N: Beta'd


	7. Already Over

Got new beta and she worked on all the first seven chapters yeah, thank my girl Rena!!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all it characters are not mine, I mean no copyright infringement.

* * *

**Chapter 6 – Already Over**

John Whitlock was a tactical man, unlike his ever-perceptive wife Anne; he demanded proof to believe something. With all that being said, even the patriarch of the Whitlock house could see the difference in his son's demeanor. Though he looked tired all the time, as if he wasn't getting adequate sleep, Jasper gave off and air of happiness and calm. He knew the symptoms, didn't need the proof shown to his face, his son was in love.

~*~

Jasper and Bella were going on their second week of secret meetings; tonight they both lay in her bed. Both silently caressing each other thinking of the future they could have but were too nervous to discuss.

As Bella looked into his eyes, she was brought back to that fateful dream and those that followed it. The idea of marriage didn't scare her as much, not if it was with this man. Sure, she could argue that she was too young, but many girls her age were thinking of marriage or already planning their weddings. Well, let's face it Bella wasn't any girl, she wanted to experience life and enjoy her youth while she still could.

More often than not, you could compare her to a wild horse, for loyalty reasons she would stay with the herd but was able to run free, as long as she didn't stray far. Eventually she thought she would be captured and owned and branded by some man. Never would she have thought that she could find a stallion from another herd that would appease her, just as wild and free spirited as her, same loyalty but different morals. She thought the possibilities were endless when it came to them, but how would they come out unscathed and victorious from this dilemma?

Jasper's worries were far more different than those of his beloved. He knew his parent's suspicions were rising as to why he was so tired lately. His father even came up to him earlier that day and asked if he was feeling well and suggested he take a few days off from helping around the plantation and rest until he was feeling better. Jasper knew his father was skeptical that he was really sick, he could hear how insincere his father was when he commented on his welfare. Not in a way that he didn't care for his son, but in the sense that there truly was nothing wrong.

He decided to break the silence with a heavy sigh, his lids heavy on his eyes. "Jasper, are you alright? You seem worried, and your eyes are drawn. Maybe you should go. You're tired and I'm keeping you from getting a good nights rest." She didn't mean to sound disappointed or reprimanding but she was mad at herself for making him stay so long with her. He had work to do the next morning; she could see the effect it was having on both of them staying awake so late.

"Bella, I want to be here, but you seem tired, too. Sleep darlin, I'll leave once you're out." Bella had taken to wearing her chemise for their meetings since she knew the minute he left, she would fall asleep. It would be too much effort when she was that tired to take of all the layers of clothing she wore; a hard lesson she learned after his first visit. Sleeping in a corset would never be comfortable to anyone.

"And maybe tomorrow we skip our nightly meetings. Look at us Jasper, we are the walking dead. People would confuse us with corpses or creatures of the night." She let out a short laugh, "A night away from each other to get some proper rest would do us nothing but good. My mother is starting to suspect and I fear she could get too close to the truth."

"My parents are becoming suspicious of my nightly activities also, but my fear is I won't be able to stay away. I want to learn all there is to know about you, and it appears this is the only way. You, my darlin are an addicting creature." He whispered the last sentence lowly; leaning closer he brushed his lips over hers. She smiled into the kiss as it began to intensify but before either could deepen the kiss a knock on the front door startled the young lovers.

Panic seeped in to both their bodies. There was movement coming from the floor above them, meaning Bella's mother had awakened. They knew the risks and this was definitely one of the possibilities of being found out, but when it happens panic is the first reaction. Rationality went out the window and they began to wonder, _Who the hell could be at the door at this hour?!_

~*~

Renee woke up to the sound of repeated knocking at her door. She was a woman who believes strongly in that women who slept well were the most beautiful; well this person's knocking was cutting into her rest and that made for a very aggravated Renee.

Putting her robe on, on the way out of her room she sprinted to the door. Unbeknownst to her that her daughter and the young man she had taken to despising just for his family were very carefully listening to make sure they had not been found out. Also the curiosity of who was at the door had every soul in that house on a slight edge that was only heightened as the seconds passed.

Bella had her door slightly ajar in order to hear and see what was happening. Her mother had just approached the front door and twisted the knob when it flew open. An outraged Mrs. Whitlock and a rather stoic Mr. Whitlock where standing in the foyer, "Where is he?" the Misses cried. "I know he is here, where is my son?!" they were shouting to a point were you would think the entire town would hear. "Your son is not here, as a matter of fact none of your family is welcomed here. I suggest you leave before you make an even bigger spectacle of yourself Anne."

Both Jasper and Bella were watching the altercation; to them it was more proof of the impossibility of there ever being more than this. They watched with a melancholy attitude; tired of watching as their worlds were serrated further they retreated into the room that held so many good memories of the past days. They looked into each others eyes and knew as long as they were in this town, in these houses with their parents, being together would be nearly impossible.

"How could they know I was here?" Jasper whispered from behind Bella. "What does it matter Jasper, they know and you need to go before they confirm it. It will be worse on both of us if they actually find you in here. We will wait a few days maybe more before we see each other again." She was trying to reassure herself just as much as him. Hoping that they would truly see each other again and not just in passing.

He nodded solemnly, taking his boots and climbed out the window. Bella quickly followed behind and closed the window just as the parents came bustling into the room she swiveled around. "Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock to what do I owe the visit?" Bella was always a terrible liar and at that very moment even with no questions being fired at her she felt the cold sweat breaking through her body. The adrenaline coursing through her veins was making her breathing shallow and all eyes were examining this reaction.

"Isabella, where is he?" Anne Whitlock was positive this girl knew where her son was, she just had to ask the right questions. Yet, her quest for answers was clouding her mind and making her act too direct with the scared girl in front of her.

"W-Where is w-who?" Bella stuttered.

~*~

Jasper was too anxious to actually leave without knowing their secret was safe. It wasn't that he didn't trust Bella; but when faced with three, well more like two interrogators the task could be damn near impossible. He hated using that word "impossible" but right now he felt bad for leaving her to deal with them all alone and that made the sneaking little word sneak up on his mind more often than not.

~*~

"Dear, we know he's been sneakin' off in the middle of the night to meet you, I want to put a stop to this now. You are aware that bein' alone with a man in any room, especially your bedroom, is very improper." Bella felt something in her snap like every strand that kept her sane was being torn apart by the woman who was responsible for the love of her life's existence.

"What you are implying is that _your_ son has been sneaking into my room in the middle of the night. Yet you are calling _me_ the improper one. How do you know he did not initiate these meeting your insinuating happened but have no proof of their existence?" she began to address the mothers in the trio for she could find no fault in John's stance, he seemed rather uncomfortable, almost as though he did not want to be there. "I suggest that if that is the case that you retrace those etiquette books you both are so fond of and tell me if it is proper for a man to come into a woman's room in the middle of the night." Bella quickly realized that she had been saying too much and not pointing out the obvious. Internally calming herself, she continued her tirade, every word coming out of her mouth, every lie she fed making her wish to take it back; but it was not time, and no one was ready for them.

Denying her love was somehow not as hard as she had assumed, but internally it burned her to say the next words that she uttered. "Yet, as you can see your Jasper is not here, maybe he is inside some other girl's room. You should storm all of the properties with young women in their houses and make these ridiculous accusations and further humiliate yourselves more than what you have done this evening."

The room was filled with gasps and shocked expressions, this girl had single handedly insulted all three at once. "Young lady, you don't think if we didn't have proof we would have stormed as you say, in here. We had one of the workers follow him tonight and when he returned, he informed us Jasper led him here." Hearing this from outside Jasper chastised himself for not being careful enough.

"Did he see Jasper enter the house? Or did he just leave his horse _near _the property?" Bella was surprising even herself with her attitude towards her elders. Even she knew that she was beyond disrespectful at that point. What was even more surprising was that she did not seem to care.

"Alright, this non-sense stops her, Anne, John, as you can see your assumptions and sources were wrong. My daughter knows she is prohibited to have any contact with your family, besides soon your son will be a thing of the past. Bella will be engaged to Mr. Hunts next month. I have been arranging it and he has accepted her hand." It was Bella's turn to gasp, "What?" she screamed, making all in the room cringe at the volume.

"Yes, it is truly wonderful isn't it Isabella, he is quite content with the engagement. It will be made public in two weeks time in the local journal. It will truly be the wedding of the year." Renee gushed unaware of her daughter's obvious outrage towards this news. "So, as you can see, your business is done, no more accusations. I will ask nicely that you exit my house and never disturb us the way you so rudely have done tonight." She left no room for discussion as the Whitlocks left the house; Anne satisfied that the girl and more importantly her mother would no longer be a threat, though she did feel rather bad. John though was very well versed in interrogations, it was one of the jobs he would be assigned with the militia; he knew the girl had been lying and worse she would be forced to marry a man that, although being very wealthy, was never known for his kindness.

~*~

Bella collapsed against her door after her mother returned to her room.. She thought it was unbelievable that her mother had been plotting this all along, using her like some piece on a chessboard and apparently she had just checked. Jasper had probably fled to the house without hearing a word of what was uttered tonight, at least she hoped so. It seemed the world had tipped tonight, they had been too happy and something had to bring them back down to reality. That reality being that society, or better yet their families, would never accept them together. It seemed the only thing she did these days was cry as she felt the wetness fall from her face into the arms hugging her legs close.

Jasper had fled, yes that was true but only after hearing what Bella's mother had confessed to them all. He didn't think he could control himself if he kept listening. Again, that word impossible came to his mind, the world was making it impossible for them to be happy.

After all the events tonight, they still fell in their respective beds each plotting on their own. Undeterred from the love they held for each other, and more determined to escape but when? How? These new revelations held more obstacles to overcome and though it seemed impossible, it truly wasn't.

* * *

A/N: Beta'd


	8. Even Angels Fall

Got new beta and she worked on all the first seven chapters yeah, thank my girl Rena!!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all it characters are not mine, I mean no copyright infringement.

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Even Angels Fall**

Bella opened her eyes the next morning with her head pounding, and her nose felt like it had been stuffed with cotton. The previous night's events came barreling down to the front of her mind; was it truly that surprising her mother would do that?

Her resolve had wavered exponentially, there were too many obstacles; to her it was fate intervening, making it quite clear that she and Jasper were not meant to be. After some silent assistance from her mother getting ready, they headed to the dining room for breakfast. Now, typically no matter what affair was currently underway between the mother-daughter pair, breakfast was eaten in amicable silence with the occasional reminder of the day's activities.

This morning Renee decided to break the awkward silence, "I'm doing what is best for you."

Bella scoffed as if that truly justified her despicable actions. "What is best for me or what is best for you, mother? How can you look at yourself in the mirror every day? Are you aware of the damage that you have caused?" Renee turned her nose the other way, avoiding what she knew was an inevitable subject with her daughter. "Do not dare bring that up now Isabella?"

"It's BELLA not Isabella, and why not? You are a controlling and manipulative woman. He loved you and now he doesn't even know that you left him. He would be horrified if he knew that you were forcing me into marriage." Tears were unknowingly falling down her face; not even bothering to wipe her eyes for new ones would replace them almost immediately.

"Charles was a foolish man, he wanted to be a hero, go to war, fine; but not with me waiting around being the good little house wife. I warned him not to defend those good for nothing servants. Did he listen? No, I was forced to watch him take away all my decent help and set them free like damn birds!!" At this point Renee's face was red from anger, remembering the countless fights she had with Charles during those last few months.

Bella could see from the corner of her eye Nelly, the cook, retreating to the kitchen to avoid the altercation taking place in the dining room. "Those servants are people just like you and me. They deserve what he did, because tolerating your shrieking every damn day of their lives must have been torture enough. I have to live everyday wondering if my father is alive. He could come home injured to find your letter. You didn't even apologize or give a rational reason for leaving; to you, you are already a widow. How could I have been so blind?

"That man raised me, he taught me about the world and he loved me, to the point that he put himself in danger to make a better world for me." She had calmed down her rant towards the end; but you could still hear the passion behind her words.

"I love you darling. I only want what is best for you and this man could offer you a place in society, where everyone would have the utmost respect for you."

Bella looked at her mother's eyes, they were crazed and desperate, yet showed no love towards her. "You never loved me, you loved what you could get from me. The day I allowed myself to be fooled by you and left my home is the day I will regret for the rest of my life. You think people in Port Angeles thought badly of you for being a wife and supporting your husband? Look around you mother, the people in this town think of you are a whore who left her husband and flirts with every man within 100 yards. They even look down on me believing me to be just like you. Congratulations, look at what you have accomplished."

She had never stood up for herself when it came to her mother. With others it was easy, they were strangers, she had no qualms with their impressions of her; but it hurt to tell her mother the truth. It was like showing a mirror to a child, explaining that every action shown was truly a reflection, not an alternate world. Bella was tired of being pulled in different directions by her mother, but the fact of the matter was that she was still her mother.

It had been so long since she had allowed herself to think of her father. The guilt of what she had done to him ate at her constantly. Telling her to go back, to take care of their home, like he had made her promise. She had allowed her mother's cowardice to pull her from all that she knew was right. Blind indeed she thought.

~*~

Though the Whitlock Manor was not as tense as its Swan counterpart, the air still had an air of tension. Jasper had done his daily chores and was now in his father's office attempting to relax; yet his mind could not rest from thinking. It seemed that was all he was able to do today - think. He was physically there but his mind was elsewhere, in the little house across town where a family was falling apart.

John walked up to his son as he entered his office. The previous nights events flooding his memory, "Are ya goin' to be honest with me an tell me what's happenin' between you an' the Swan girl?" Jasper was taken aback; he would have expected this from his mother, but his father?

"Sir, nothing is happening between me and her, she is engaged to another man." He stated lowly but his father still heard him. "Now you listen here son, I have never thought you to be a liar I saw you sneakin' off that first night and after that you were happy, tired like an over worked dog, but happy." He gave a short laugh remembering his younger years; he had practically stalked Anne before she gave him a second look.

What love does to a man is one of things that always baffled him. It was one of those things that even John Whitlock did not question. You could never explain love yet it was there, people fell in love everyday and he knew Jasper was in love.

Jasper sighed at least he could tell one person, "I love her." He stated in a matter-a-fact sort of way, "Well I knew that, you don't just go lookin' for your momma's disapproval with going to visit just any girl." John looked at his son and didn't see the young boy who'd run around poking all the cows just for fun, he saw a young man torn between making his family happy or finding happiness himself.

"What are you planning to do about those feelings?" he asked exasperated by this point. Going against his wife's wishes was a road few men dare to tread, yet here he was risking precious moments trying to help his son and said son decided today was the day to become slow.

"She. Is. Engaged. What part of that don't you understand?" now Jasper was the one becoming exasperated.

"Where did you hear that she was just told last night?"

"I overheard in town," he quickly tried to cover, but John had interrogated enough suspects to know when someone was lying to him. "Well if you had bothered to overhear the rest of it, you would have known she opposed the engagement. Her mother may think she has complete control but that girl is stronger than she appears."

~*~

Bella came to her senses and returned home, yet she still did not forgive her mother. She entered the house and headed straight for her sanctuary, the library. The clock in the corner of the room struck midnight, she could tell her mind was tired and needed the escape sleep provided but her body was not allowing it. The chiming of the clock was disguising a sound from outside. Once the final hand of the clock stroke the minute mark, she could hear hooves stopping right at her window. Not two seconds after, there were the familiar taps on the window. The days events easily forgotten she ran to the window pulling back the curtains, there he was her gorgeous blue eyed, blonde prince. He truly looked like a prince mounted on his trusty steed read to save the princess from the evil queen.

Upon opening the window she whispered while still holding the biggest smile "Jasper, what are you doing here?"

He cleared his throat very dramatically making her attempts at hiding her laughter impossible. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel…" she cut him off. "Wrong love story, are we not Romeo and Juliet?"

"Well I thought Rapunzel fit, Romeo & Juliet it's too tragic, how bout' something with a happily ever after at the end?" he quirked his eyebrows daring her to argue with him. "Fine, but you will certainly not climb up my hair, it is far too short and you sir, are far too heavy."

He gasped, "Isabella," the outrage in his voice sounded so serious. "Are you calling me fat?" For the first time in the presence of someone other than her father Isabella Marie Swan giggled. This lighthearted fun was truly a refreshing change in their relationship.

"Now, stop wastin' time before the dragon wakes up, and get on Sally!" she looked beyond Jasper and saw a beautiful sand colored filly. Feigning anger Bella picked up her dress and tried to step out the window. "Jasper, my mother is not a dragon!" as he helped her onto Sally, a tough job in it of itself seeing as the girl was clumsy as hell. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean any disrespect."

"You should be, she is more a witch than a dragon." The sounds of their snorts filled the night air as she settled on the saddle.

"Hey there girl?" Bella cooed as she petted Sally's neck.

"Ready?" she nodded and they took off leaving behind their troubles, if only for one night.

~*~

The cool October night air of Texas whipped at their faces as the neared their destination. To Bella it seemed that the direction they were heading was toward the Whitlock Plantation. They rode right past it and into the forest, where the horses could not gallop, it seemed like the trip was never ending.

Jasper watched her from the corner of his eye; he knew she was tired of riding but she just had to be patient for a few more minutes. You could barely see ahead to the small clearing. You see, Jasper's great grand parents were some of the first to settle in this land. Back then, the land was cheap and they bought a shit load claiming it was for privacy. As the family grew they spread out and moved to different portions of the country, yet those who stayed in Texas stayed in the manor. What many didn't know, was that the original house was a tiny cabin about a half a mile from the main house. To this day the cabin is very well taken care of, but no one inhabits it.

"…and that's were I'm taking' you." He finished just as they left the cover of the forest; right in the middle of the small clearing was the cabin from her dreams. "Oh my word." She smiled at him as he dismounted Leroy and tied him to the wooden post on the front yard of the cabin. After repeating the same process with Sally, they entered the cabin together. The inside of the cabin was cozy and small yet very comfortable. The furniture all looked quite old, but up close you could see the how sturdy and hand crafted it was. It felt lived in, not at all like a house that had been abandoned for more than fifty years.

"One day Bella this cabin will be ours." He whispered into her ear and kissed her temple. She wished this would last. That living here with Jasper was not just a pipe dream; but this wouldn't last. No matter what, she was still promised to someone else; she knew her mother had to honor whatever deal she made with Mr. Hunts.

As if sensing her trepidation, Jasper wrapped his arms around and said "We will work through our obstacles one at a time. Just have faith in us."

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A/N: This is where the un beta'd chapters ended so now that everything is up to par I can continue the story with out the kink in my neck reminding me of how rough these first 7 chapters were.


	9. Baby, It's Cold Outside!

Special thanks to my new Beta NCChris! She rocks for how great the chapter turned out!

Disclaimer: I own nothing that is twilight!

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Chapter 8 – Baby, It's Cold Outside!

The fire was crackling in the fireplace giving the room a golden glow. Jasper and Bella were curled together under a fleece blanket on the floor of the cabin with her back to his chest, a book in her lap. They were celebrating Christmas Eve in their own way, relaxing together and relishing in the physical contact they both craved. Though the summer in Texas was excruciating the winter was quite cold, and riding to the cabin was becoming difficult.

Two months had past, since he first brought her to the cabin. It had become their sanctuary each referring to it as home. Renee had acted impassive after Bella's first escapade.

It broke Bella's heart even more to see how her mother lacked any care for her. She truly hoped there was an ounce of love or something to make her care for her well being; but all she did was huff when she saw her enter and walked away. To her, as long as she kept up the charade of her engagement, what she did on the side was non-existent. Since then, Bella could not even be bothered to sneak out; she would just walk out the front door. What was the point if her mother truly did not care?

Traditionally, the Whitlocks had an annual Christmas Eve Ball that evening. In light of the season, no one was excluded. That meant, that even Bella and her mother would be attending. Renee had arranged for Mr. Hunts to be her escort to the ball, but to her dismay and Bella's relief, he had business to attend to in Edinburgh.

In the months following her mother's revelation, many had caught wind of the engagement. The town had been buzzing with talk of the union, whether there would be an engagement party to celebrate or how soon the pair would marry. There were even some who questioned the man's sanity for allowing him to be conned by a woman such as Renee. Nonetheless, Bella was officially deemed engaged and unavailable, at least to the public.

At the ball she had played the perfect daughter. She socialized with all the important people, according to her mother. When her engagement came up in conversation, she would simply ignore it or allow her mother to take over, which she eagerly did. Many asked her to dance, but she only accepted to a few, none being the one she truly desired.

The night was far from coming to a close, though with so many intoxicated not many were paying attention when Jasper finally asked her to a dance. To others it would seem like they were just dancing at a respectable distance, nothing amiss. Though every now and then, his hand would tighten around her waist or he would squeeze her hand gently as a show of affection. At one point, he even got close enough to whisper in her ear to meet him near the stalls twenty-minutes after their waltz. She simply nodded as her response and continued enjoying their limited contact.

They inconspicuously slipped out at different times to not arouse suspicion. Bella's excuse, she was tired and wanted to retire to her home. Renee allowed her to leave satisfied that her daughter had acted properly during the evening. Jasper made no excuse. He simply slipped out, knowing it wouldn't seem suspicious if he disappeared from the party. After all, it was his parents hosting and the whole town knew the young Whitlock to have an aversion to celebrations of this nature.

"The phantom slowly, gravely, silently, approached. When it came near him, Scrooge bent down upon his knee; for in the very air through which this spirit moved it seemed to scatter gloom and misery" unable to stand it any longer he snatched the book from her hands and she gasped, "Hey! I was reading that!"

"Yes I know, but I have read this story every year since I can remember I don't think I even need the book to recite it."

He was exasperated they only had a limited amount of time together; he did not want to waste it reading.

"As have I, but its tradition to read _A Christmas Carol. _It reminds us to be humble and grateful for what we have," she countered.

" It's a story about a bitter old man who sees ghost, darlin'. He only repents himself because he scared they'll come back," he retorted.

"What do you suppose we do? It is Christmas Eve we should follow some sort of tradition."

She raised her eyebrow in a questioning manor.

"Well," he elongated the word, "Momma always let me open one present on Christmas Eve."

As he said this he reached into his pocket, took out a small jewelry box, and placed it on her lap.

"Oh Jasper, why did you do this? I could not get away from my mother to get you anything! Now I feel awful!"

"Hush woman, and open your present! Your presence is gift enough as is your love and appreciation of my gift to you."

Bella blushed at his words, while holding the tiny package in her nimble fingers; its weight magnified by the significance.

"Will you just open it?"

"My, my, aren't we impatient," she tut-tutted her tongue at him, while he poked his out at her teasing.

She turned her head back to the task at hand, purposely opening the box slowly. The breath she held left her body as soon as she saw the gift. Inside the jewelry box laid a somewhat large silver locket. Its oval shape and detailed border gave it elegance, yet it was simple enough to be worn with anything.

As she took it in her hands Jasper whispered in her ear to turn it over, and she did. On the back, it was engraved in the most elegant of scripts, but what she truly noticed was not the script but the letters. It was their initials _JAW_ and_ IMS_ all intertwined written over the word _forever_. The meaning was not lost on her.

Bella felt Jasper's thumbs swipe under her eyes wiping away the tears she hadn't noticed where falling.

"Don't cry beautiful girl. You don't like it?"

She shook her head. Gentle sobs racked her body, but she managed to whisper.

"I love it, thank you."

She felt him relax after that. As her crying calmed she turned in his arms and pulled him into a searing kiss. Unable to straddle him fully do to her dress she slowed the kiss until they were just pecks.

"I love you!" she exclaimed, punctuating each word with kisses.

Nothing at this point could wipe the beaming smile of her face.

"I love you, too beautiful girl!"

"Is there anything in it?" she asked as they went back to their original position, while she examined her gift more thoroughly.

"No, I left it empty for you to put in whatever you desire."

"Can I have a small portrait of you to put in?"

"I have a better idea; Momma had us take photographs with that new camera thing. I could bring you a small one to put inside," he suggested, remembering when his mother had come into the house raving about the magnificent new invention she had just heard of.

She immediately ordered for them to have their pictures taken, since they were smaller and more detailed than portraits. There were many that had been taken and placed all around the house. He knew there were a few to spare. He would be able to cut one of them to the right shape for the locket.

"Jasper, what a brilliant idea! I'll leave the opposite side empty, I have a feeling it is meant for another picture not yet taken."

"As you wish, darlin'."

She gestured for him to fasten the necklace around her neck. As he did, his hand lingered on her neck. He murmured "beautiful" as he placed kisses where his hands once were. A moan reverberated from her chest as he sucked at the sensitive skin under her ear. His hand caressed her cheek, angling her head to reach her lips. The kiss was tender and slow, it conveyed all their emotions, and they kept that pace, neither wanting to ruin the sweetness of the moment.

It was Jasper that rolled them over so her back was to the floor and he was on top. Their tender caresses turned desperate and rough as the kiss became intense. While leaning his weight on one arm, Jasper's other hands began to roam her body. Satisfaction filled him when he heard her gasp as he reached to fondle her clothed breast. Taking advantage of the opportunity he deepened the kiss.

They had never let their feelings completely take over until this moment. Bella's mind was clouded with haze from the magnitude of their passion. She couldn't think clearly; she knew they should stop, but was physically unable to do so. As Jasper's lips left hers, trailing down to where he had undone the neck of her chemise, her mind cleared slightly.

"Jas-Jasper… st-stop!" she panted, "We ca-can't, not now."

He groaned whilst dropping his head to her chest, his breathing was still labored. Worried she had done something when Jasper still wouldn't lift his head to look at her she timidly called out to him,

"Jasper?"

"Gimme a minute Bells, you don't know what you do to me," he mumbled in his embarrassment, obviously trying to calm his arousal.

The situation would have had Bella in a fit of laughter had he not used the nickname her father always affectionately called her. Sensing her unease, Jasper lifted his head. He instantly became alarmed at her somber expression.

"Darlin' what's wrong?"

"You called me Bells," was her only response.

He couldn't fathom how one nickname could make her so morose.

"Well yeah… when you giggle it's like bells… plus with your name bein' Bella it fit…"

He worried she had taken the nickname wrong. Had she found it offensive? What could possible be offensive about Bells?

"My father used to call me Bells."

Her voice was monotone, holding no emotion. Her expression was worse, no hint of a smile or a true frown and her lips were simple a line.

They had discussed many subjects and confided many secrets up to this point in their relationship, but Bella's father was never an issue they addressed formally. Sure, he heard about him in passing during her many retellings of childhood stories, yet she had always held in the magnitude of her emotions regarding her lost father.

He remembered the time she recounted when her father wanted to try to cure her of her clumsiness, and developed a system. She was to walk across a giant log until she could make it across without falling. Apparently after various scraped knees and elbows, her mother forbade the experiment from continuing. Though, Bella did admit that after that experience, it took more than air to bring her down. Thus she deemed it a success.

"What happened to him Bella? One moment you talk like he's dead and the next it's like your expectin' him to come walking right through that door!" he exclaimed.

There would be no more skirting around the subject. She had to face her demons, and Jasper knew it.

_"That's because I am," _she though in response to his last statement.

She let out a shaky breath and with it her whole story fell from her mouth. She recounted her childhood, how she was closer to her father than she ever was to her mother. How the women of town talked of her mother because she acted as if she was superior to others.

The sobbing started when they reached the last year in Port Townsend. He held her and comforted her as she told him of the countless fights her parents had during the last few months there. Her mom had picked a fight at the slightest hindrance to her lavish lifestyle. Their final fight had led to Bella enclosing herself in her chambers for days at a time. Her father never returned to the house.

She knew he had done it for her and for his friends, but she still felt the pang of abandonment, leading to momentary lapses in judgment. Her mother had used some real bullshit on her brain, making her believe that he had abandoned her and she shouldn't have had to wait around for him. All it took was one seed of doubt for her mother to cultivate it, truly making her believe he had abandoned them.

She later realized her mistake but it was too late. She and Renee had already left and were in the process of moving into the house in Texas. After clearing her head Bella was left with the guilt of never knowing if her father was alive and decided to abstain from forming any link to this town she now despised.

As her tale wound down her sobbing increased while she repeated "It's all my fault!" over and over. Jasper's heart broke at seeing the love of his life so vulnerable. She shouldn't have to blame herself, he thought.

"Shh darlin', it'll be ok, you aren't to blame here," he cooed while gently rubbing her back and kissing her hair.

He looked as if he were holding a wounded child, pained and in need of care. After much encouragement her sobs calmed to small hiccups.

"I-ru-ined-our-ni-ght!" she managed to utter while still slightly sobbing.

"No you didn't!" he said.

She had avoided the subject long enough; it was good for her to discuss this. He could tell she already felt a small weight leave her shoulders; crying was always a good way for emotions to be dealt with.

Once she had calmed down completely Jasper had made sure she understood that it wasn't her fault. Her mother preyed on her emotions.

The rest of the evening was spent enjoying the warmth from the fire as they reminisced about more of Bella's childhood. Jasper learned more of what made Bella the woman he fell in love with. They laughed at the antics she would involve herself in as a child. She even threw in a couple of tales involving good times, when Renee seemed almost human.

They rode back to her house, parting after they shared a lingering kiss that neither wanted to end. The comfort and warmth the night had held had been left behind in their cabin. She thanked him for her gift and promised it would never leave her neck.

Once back at his house, Jasper noted that the guests were gone and the house was eerily silent. His curiosity was satisfied when he stepped into the foyer and noticed the grandfather clock in the sitting room. Its hands where pointing to four and ten. They had been gone longer than he had expected. The night's events ran through his head as he prepared to retire for the evening.

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A/N: Ok so I know it's been a while. Inspiration was hard to come buy when the stress of the SAT is looming over my head. THANK GOD IT'S OVER! Links to pictures of the locket will be posted on my profile. I don't really have much to say, except I have a beta now which is why this chapter (in my opinion!) is awesome. You know my stand on reviews, so please do!


	10. The New Year

Special thanks to my awesome Beta NCChris!

Disclaimer: I own nothing that is twilight!

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Chapter 9 – The New Year

New Year's for the wealthy Texans seemed like just another reason to drink and be merry in a time were it seemed like there was nothing good to toast about. Unlike Christmas, the Whitlocks did not hold the New Year's Ball. Instead, the Smithens held the honor of hosting the event.

The Smithens, like many in the South owned a large cotton farm and were the proudest southerners you could find. The Confederate Army's funds were greatly attributed to this family and all of Austin was aware of it. They were also well known traders, not an uncommon exploit in the confederacy.

As Bella examined herself in the mirror she could hardly hold in her chagrin. Tonight was not going to be like Christmas in the least. Firstly, due to the fact that she was not allowed to leave until the festivities were over. Secondly, her left ring finger was now adorned with a ridiculously extravagant engagement ring. Yes, dear Mr. Hunts had given her a ring for Christmas. Third and finally, since her fiancé, she cringed thinking of the word, was not busy she was to be escorted by him to the New Year's bash. She was positive there was no reason for celebration tonight.

Bella was thankful for the wintry weather. It called for higher necked dresses that could easily hide her necklace;which was now adorned with a handsome picture of her love. There were also certain marks that ornamented her collarbone and neck, do to Jasper's lack of self-control during their private time. She was not complaining about them, they simply were just becoming difficult to hide.

Her mother had actually picked out a beautiful dark blue silk trimmed dress. The bodice hugged her curves perfectly, and luckily much to Bella's enjoyment, the skirt did not call for a hoop. The neckline hung low on her chest but the high-necked chemisette she wore underneath made the dress very modest. Should the company be different, it would have made for a great night.

A knock at the door broke Bella from her reverie. With a deep sigh she straightened her perfectly pinned up hair and turned to walk towards the front door. Once there she opened the door to reveal Mr. Hunts standing in attendance.

"Mr. Hunts, nice to see you," Bella curtsied as a sign of respect.

"Isabella, haven't I requested of you to call me James, we are engaged after all?"

She held in her shudder, there was no chance in hell she would acquaint herself personally with this man.

James Hunts was the town mystery. Nobody knew when he moved here or what his occupation was. To be quite honest, he was a handsome man with a body most women would fall over for. His blonde hair not quite like Jasper's golden locks, but a darker more muddy color, was slicked back and held by a band of silk. His face was sharp; a strong square jaw gave him the masculine features that his flawless pale skin needed.

It was his eyes that made Bella uneasy the color seemed unnatural. The strange green seemed to swirl with slight specks of red, as if someone had dropped blood into them. They were always cold, and seemed to convey emotions that were hidden to the naked eye. When he looked at her there was always an undertone of agitation, something that made shivers run up her spine.

"I don't really quite know you enough to call you by your first name, Mr. Hunts," Bella said stressing the title to make him understand that she would not be easily broken.

In that moment Renee decided to make her entrance. As soon as her eyes landed on James strange green orbs she was immediately hypnotized. She sauntered over to him exaggerating her movements in a way that would make anyone uncomfortable in her presence.

"James! Darling isn't this splendid, now you can show off that gorgeous ring with this handsome man by your side!" she squealed. Then made a point to glare at her daughter, communicating to her that she'd had better behave for her sake.

Renee was quite aware of Bella's disinclination toward her impending marriage. She also knew that Bella was having a bit of a rebellious phase, where she would sneak out and make it seem as though she was seeing someone, but Renee knew better. It was all an act and, once the marriage was final, Bella would be thanking her. This was what was best for her; a husband with good social standing and the bank statements to cement the envy of every woman in Texas.

"Renee you look ravishing as always," he said as he took her hand and kissed the back. A blushing Renee turned her face away from him feigning shyness.

Bella stood to side finding her mother's display rather revolting.

"Well ladies, I believe we should leave now or we will be late," he suggested.

"Oh you two go on ahead, I, unfortunately, have other plans, but enjoy yourselves and give my regards to Beth Anne and George," Renee said as she ushered them out the door.

"What could possibly be so important that you would miss the party?" Bella asked hotly.

"Isabella, don't be rude." James' monotone voice came from beside her.

She bit her tongue, fighting to show James how rude she could truly be.

As Bella examined her mother closely, a thought ran through her mind.

_She is up to something_.

_"It's not a problem, James; I'm accustomed to my daughter's wit. Not that it should be your business, Isabella, but I was invited to celebrate the evening with the Dwyers," Renee said nonchalantly, but Bella knew that it wasn't the Dwyers she would be seeing, at least not all, just one._

To be specific Philip Dwyer, married and with kids yet had fornicated with half the single women in Austin.

~*~

The coach ride had been filled with uncomfortable silence, as James continued to stare at Bella. The scrutiny behind his eyes was slightly hungry and chilling. She also felt like he was appraising her, weighing her pros and cons, seeing if she was worth the burden of making her submissive to the marriage.

All through the journey he talked and asked questions, while she barely listened, never answered, and thought of the man she wished would be sitting across from her.

As the coach came to a halt, James gave Bella one last withering stare and warned her to behave and not make a scene. This was to be a pleasant affair where they were to socialize as a couple. Her attitude would not be perceived well.

The coldness left his eyes and was instantly replaced with an amiable façade. With a firm grip on her arm he helped Bella out and looped her arm through his. The hold he had was borderline painful, to point where she grimaced.

"Remember my words, Isabella, now grin and bear it like the good little woman you are," he whispered in her ear then gave her a slight peck on her cheek.

To an outsider it would have looked similar to a tender embrace between partners, but the feelings stirring through Bella were closer to fear than affection.

They made their way inside the grand ballroom, where many were already dancing while others were drinking and conversing amongst themselves.

The room was expansive greater than even the Whitlock's, Bella compared it to being the size of her house. An amber glow spread through the room from the six crystal chandeliers hanging from the high ceiling.

It seemed the Smithens were interested in doing everything bigger and better than anyone else. Where the Whitlocks were modest with discreet glasses of champagne being distributed throughout the night, the Smithens had a rather ostentatious fountain spouting the popular celebration drink. Everything from tables, seats, and dinnerware, was decorated in gold, unlike the delicate Christmas colored palette of the Whitlock's, this was bold and roared of great fortune.

Out of nowhere, the boisterous elders of the Smithen family appeared in front of the seemingly happy couple.

"Oh James, Isabella! So wonderful to see you dearies," Beth Anne Smithen gushed, enveloping them in what appeared to be hug, but was more of a chokehold.

Beth Anne Smithen was no small woman; her figure was rather round, yet, no doubt, voluptuous, made even more noticeable by the extremely tight bodices she wore. She was friendly to a point, but would gossip about you the second you left her presence, and with her blunt attitude most would find her obnoxious. Yet, ask anyone in Austin and they would relish the fact that they knew her.

Now her husband was a sturdy man, in fact, you could mistake him for a boulder if he stood too still, and he had a serious attitude to match. George Smithen was all business and found attending such events to be a frivolous waste of time, but, for his wife's sake, he would endure it. Both their heads of hair were graying from age, and only his mustache seemed to maintain its dark pigment.

After being released, one of the many serving boys passed by and offered them flutes of champagne. James ignorantly grabbed two without thanking, or even looking at, the dark skinned young man. Handing one to Bella, he returned his attention to George were they were discussing the financial status of the army and what could be done to rectify it, while she subtly mouthed thank you to the boy, who nodded his welcome and seemed slightly cheered by her small act of kindness.

"I heard someone got a mighty nice present this Christmas," the stout woman gushed.

Bella internally rolled her eyes knowing her mother was bragging to everyone about her impending marriage.

"Well? Let's see that rock?" Beth Anne urged.

Bella only relented when she felt a discreet nudge from James, warning her to be cordial. She lifted her left hand to the appraising eyes of their host.

"Wow, look at that thing, ain't it beautiful, George?"

Her husband grunted not appreciating the interruption in his conversation.

In truth, the ring was quite beautiful. Four smaller diamonds and two small round medium pink rubies surrounded the center diamond, beyond that were two larger teardrop shape rubies. The band's shoulders were styled in a classical scrolling pattern with open gold work. It looked similar to a child drawn flower. In Bella's opinion, the rings was just too much. She was a girl of simple tastes and this ring did not fit that profile.

"I bet Renee is just bustin' at the seams that her little girl got so lucky. Speakin' of that tart, where is she?" Beth Anne said making her intoxication obvious.

"She was unable to make it. Unfortunately, she was a bit ill and did not want to risk worsening her condition," Bella said trying to hide such a blatant lie.

Even though she wasn't on good speaking terms with her mother, that didn't mean that she wanted the town to have a field day spreading rumors of her mother, even if they were true.

"Oh, what a shame, I'm so sorry to hear that," she lamented, not sounding sorry at all.

It seemed that was the end of their conversation, for not two seconds later she had flitted away to another guest.

The rest of the evening's conversations were similar to those. If you asked Bella to name each person she had talked to she wouldn't have been able to remember a single name.

Currently, she was draining her third champagne flute. Her mind was feeling only slightly hazy due to the alcohol. James had finally left her side, to Bella's delight. She was enjoying the subtle warmth her drink provided as it slid down her throat, when she was flocked by the daughter's of her mother's gossiping acquaintances.

"Well if it isn't Isabella Swan, I heard your mother bagged you James Hunts," Betsy Smithens sneered. You could say she was he parents' child; her appearance was the perfect mixture of the stout couple.

"Well I heard she first tried to get her claws on Jasper Whitlock, but Momma Whitlock ain't no fool!" cackled another of her cronies.

"What I wouldn't give for a piece of that cherry pie, since he ain't taken maybe he'll go for me."

The last peaked from behind Bella while arranging the top of her dress, in order to show more cleavage.

"Oh no you don't! That tasty piece of meat is mine! Why do you think I asked Ma to buy me this new dress?" Leanne, the cacklet, stepped in front of her.

Bella got a good look at all three of them and noticed they wore similar dresses. She wondered how they could wear such dresses in this frosty weather.

While Bella was examining the three harlots bickering, two warms hands grabbed her by the waist. She gave a slight yelp when the cold air hit her cheeks. The hands on her waist spun her around to where she came face-to-face with the blue pools of her one and only love.

"I hadn't noticed I was in front of a window," she noted.

A sultry look came over her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"How convenient."

"In deed," he responded as he leaned down to kiss her rosy lips.

"God, Jasper, as much as I wish I could, I can not be out here. James, he scares me, I don't know how much more I can take," Bella cried.

"Don't worry, darlin', soon. Can you get away tonight?" Jasper asked as he held her face in his hands wiping away her tears.

"I don't know. Maybe, but it will be very late before I will be able to escape. We won't have enough time."

"Alright, tomorrow night, the cabin. We will make a solid plan, no more skirtin' the issue. Deal?"

She gave a slight smile, "Deal."

~*~

They spent a couple of minutes embracing and enjoying their limited amount of time, knowing it would be one of the last times they would have to separate, before rejoining everyone inside.

Bella was making her way to the champagne fountain for another flute to calm her nerves, when a cold presence made itself known at her side.

"Where have you been?" James cold voice lost all of it sweet pretense.

Where not twenty minutes ago a hand was delicately caressing her waist, there was now a new hand; cold, hard, and gripping. Bella's fear began to spike, somehow he knew where she had been, and he was making it obvious that it did not please him.

"I-I was j-just getting some fresh air," she stammered but finished strong.

"That was quite rude, Your friends were worried you left in the midst of a conversation. I will not have my wife act in such a manor," his voice was menacing and laced with hidden threats.

Yet, apparently, Bella's subconscious didn't register that fact, for she was suddenly overcome with a boldness she wasn't aware she possessed.

"Let me remind you that I am not your wife," just as the words left her mouth his hand tightened significantly evoking a small whimper of pain to escape her lips.

"Yet, Isabella. You may not be me wife now, but you will be," he kissed her temple. She felt the bile rise in her throat when he did that.

"Now, we will be leaving soon after the festivities are done. I have to leave early for business tomorrow. I don't want you complaining for we will be parting with everyone before the countdown starts," he ordered.

He took her through each and every person saying their farewells with promises of attending the engagement party the next month. A party that Bella was not even aware of. This reeked of her mother's doing. When they were done, it was roughly one minute to midnight. One more minute and it would be the start of a new year, and with it a new life for Bella, far away from all the people that currently surrounded her, and close to the ones she longed for.

Everyone moved outside for the fireworks display the Smithens had "splurged" for. At ten seconds to the New Year, everyone started to chant together.

"10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!" everyone bellowed at the same time. Couples all around them kissed and families hugged. Bella's eyes briefly caught Jasper's while he embraced his parents before the stone hard hand of James grabbed her face for a slight peck on her lips.

~*~

They left immediately after that, were he cordially returned her to her home. When she entered her house, the first thing she noticed was its emptiness. Nelly peaked around the door from the dining room.

"Has my mother not returned yet, Nelly?" she asked, cautious that she may have been mistaken.

"No, Miss Bella, de Mistress of de house med it clear she would not be returnin' to de house tonigh," Nelly said in her thick Jamaican accent.

"Good, come on, I have to tell you of my night out with Mr. Hunts, and Jasper's brilliant rescue from the cronies," Bella gushed.

Nelly was truly the only friend she had. There were few things Bella did not share with her. Most included what she and Jasper did in private. Because even if she were supportive, Nelly acted more as an older sister and tended to reprimand her when she was acting less than wholesome.

The rest of the night they babbled of the night's events and what could come of the next night when Bella and Jasper reunited to formulate a plan. They were that much closer to freedom, to loving each other without the fear of being discovered and separated.

* * *

A/N: I was BLOCKED! But, I think you will all be happy this is the longest chapter as of yet. You guys all know I love you, and I'm sorry for dragging it out but I like for you to see the developement. This chapter took some serious brain power so please be nice. There will be a link to a pic of Bella's ring. Don't you all think Renee is delusional, I so do but I wrote her to be that way, and apparently my beta agrees. I hope you are all being as observant as her, cause she is catching on to most of my sublte hints or warnings which ever way you want to interpret. Reviews are turn into words you can read so please, leave some love for our lovers!


	11. Carried Away

Special thanks to my awesome Beta NCChris!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, twilight is solely own by Stephenie Meyer. I just borrowed the characters.

For the title I had to go a little country in honor of our Jasper with George Strait, but the song that was on constant repeat was Untouchable by Taylor Swift great romantic song for them.

* * *

Chapter 10 – Carried Away

The clock chimed as its hands aligned to inform the house that it was noon. Renee still had not returned from her night of debauchery, and Bella had taken the opportunity to help Nelly with the household chores. She was currently dusting the grandfather clock in the sitting room, while Nelly cleaned the small metal fireplace.

"Nell, do you think she will ever return?" Bella asked.

"Well, I kno dat I am meant to sa 'I hope so' but heer is ta wishan she doesant," Nelly said.

Bella looked at Nell with a wide-eyed shocked expression.

"Nell, I cannot believe you just said that about my mother."

Bella reprimanded her, but, when her lips twitched, they both fell into a fit of giggles.

Their laughing stopped abruptly when the door slammed shut, causing both girls to jump in fear. Standing behind them was a furious looking Renee.

"What is the meaning of this?" she bellowed, making them flinch.

"Nice to see you too, Mother," Bella said defiantly.

"No one likes a smartass, Isabella, and get away from that clock. YOU! This is your job. This is why you are here and not on the street. I suggest you do your job and not have my daughter do it for you or you will be out on the street."

Renee sneered at the two girls, yet only Nelly looked ashamed.

"Sorry, Madam," the scolded housekeeper replied meekly.

"No, Nell, you should not be apologizing. I volunteered to help. She didn't approach me. If you want to chastise someone, chastise me, not her." Bella stated, standing up for her.

"Dear God, Isabella! You are becoming more like your father every day. Get up, leave those rags on the floor, go and bathe, and change into decent clothing."

Renee looked at Bella with disgust; looking over her working dress critically.

"And you…" she pointed a finger at Nelly, "clean this up. That is your job, am I not right?" Renee said in a patronizing voice.

She grabbed Bella's arm and dragged her to the washroom.

"Wash all this grime off you; meanwhile, I will find you some acceptable clothing."

Bella, too tired of fighting off her mother, did as she was told, but made a silent promise to make it up to Nelly sometime soon.

~*~

Jasper's day passed slowly; fortunately, his father was working with the militia and would be out of the house. That meant that the plantation's chores were his responsibility. Normally, he would find the tasks such a nuisance, but, today, he welcomed the distraction.

While he worked, his mind attempted to determine a solution to his and Bella's dilemma. It was only after his evening wash, that his overworked brain came to a conclusion. If all went well, Bella wouldn't begrudge him this and they would be free.

~*~

As per routine, Jasper saddled both Leroy and Sally. He carefully packed the plates of food he'd stolen from the kitchen and a bottle of wine with glasses. He'd figured they could celebrate their newfound freedom.

_No more hiding._

He sighed, thinking of the possibilities.

The ride to Bella's was fairly short compared to the wait of the day. As he trudged closer, he noticed a head of brown curls looking expectantly to the surrounding grounds. The sound of hooves must have alerted her, as her head whipped to his direction. When their eyes connected, it was as if the sun had come out on a particularly dreadful day.

"Jasper," she breathed his name. A soft smile played at her lips.

"Were you worried I wouldn't come, darlin'?" he asked, seeing the relieved look on her face.

"Not at all, but it has been a dreadful day, and I have been longing to see you. Last night did not satisfy my need for you," she admitted a slight blush tinting her cheeks.

"Mine neither, darlin'," he said drawing closer to her.

He placed Sally next to her window in order to make it easier for her to mount. However, she didn't move, Jasper could sense that she was nervous of something, but had not the slightest idea to what.

"Is everything all right, darlin'?" he asked.

"Um… I need help," she blushes embarrassed by what she was about to ask him.

"What's wrong?"

"Ugh… My mother discovered me cleaning in my working dress, and ordered me to bathe immediately. Unfortunatly, she chose my "acceptable clothing" and it's quite uncomfortable mounting a horse with… a hoop skirt on," she said in one breath.

At hearing her dilemma, Jasper burst into a fit of laughter. Seeing his reaction to her discomfort, Bella's embarrassment quickly turned to anger.

"This is no laughing matter, Jasper Andrew Whitlock," she hotly chastised.

When he saw that she was not amused, Jasper attempted to compose himself. Unfortunately, he failed miserably, and, as soon as his laughter died down, it returned with a vengeance.

Bella, to her own dismay, was attempting to supress her own chuckle from escaping. She had to admit, it was slightly amusing. God only knew what she'd look like trying to mount a horse while wearing a hoop.

"You're right… you're right," he said clearing his throat to conceal the remnants of his hysterics, "It's not funny. What can I assist you with, my Bell?"

"Why, thank you for realizing my discomfort," she said knowing he truly didn't. "Now come inside and help me get this contraption off."

"Alright, hold your horses," he said.

"Fine," she crossed her arms, waiting for him to jump through the window.

"No, I mean hold your horses," he waved the reins in front of her face.

"Oh," she blushed. "Alright, give them to me."

Jasper relinquished the reins to Bella were she secured them to the junctures of the windows. Then proceeded to dismount and climb through the window.

"Very well, show me how I can be of use?" he said as he righted himself.

Uncomfortably, she turned around and lifted her dress' skirt revealing the petticoat underneath.

"You must lift the petticoat and unclasp the hoopskirt. My mother, bless her soul, donned me in one of her old metal hoopskirts."

The sarcastic tone in her voice was enough evidence for her discomfort. Her eyes were fixated on the ceiling counting, with no fixated number as an objective.

His hands shook as he prepared to lift the petticoat. They had never come close to any amount of copulation, yet here he was lifting her undergarments. The sound of her exhale broke his musings. Wanting to expel the tension from their presence, he hurried to find the fastener, when he did he fumbled to unlatch it.

Bella's tally was to one hundred when she felt Jasper fumbling. The thought that her graceful, strong, and earnest Jasper was nervous and clumsy made her chuckle.

"Simply unsnap it, Jasper," she said sniggering.

She turned her head in order to discern what went awry. The sight that graced her, made her double over in laughter. Jasper appeared on the verge of collapsing.

"Oh Lord, Jasper please it's unbearable to wear this thing, swallow your nerves and unbutton it this instant."

"Stop movin', woman, and I will."

With a click the metal contraption fell to the floor, allowing Bella to breathe without having metal digging into her waist. She let her dress fall to the floor once more and arranged the hem until it was in good order.

"Why do women wear these things if they're painful?" he said holding up the death trap they called a skirt.

"That is beyond my understanding, but thank you," she said turning around and giving him a light peck on his lips.

"Shall we?" he motioned towards the window.

"We shall."

Climbing out of the window, both Jasper and Bella made their way to their respective steedS. In order to make the jaunt slightly more interesting, Bella proposed a race. Jasper readily agreed with the exception that the winner should receive a wish. With her acquiescence, they set off careening through the small patch of forest surrounding Bella's house.

The competition was close, but Jasper's horse was ahead by a nose. However, just as they were approaching the cabin, Bella's horse suddenly charged ahead. Not daring to look back, Bella made her way the front of their quaint home. As she slowed Sally to a trot, her breathing began to slow as much as the young fillies. The rush of adrenaline and the thrill of victory brought a large grin to her facial features.

"Since when can you ride like that?" he asked astonished.

"Always, I merely did not have a reason to demonstrate my talent," she replied nonchalantly.

"You amaze me, everyday," he said as he dismounted Leroy.

Tethering both horses to the wooden posts with water, to allow them to rest, he grabbed the items from the sack attached to his saddle. Jasper prayed that nothing was ruined.

"Are you hungry, darlin'?"

"Only slightly, but, Jasper, we have more pressing matters to attend to, or did you forget?" she pressed.

They entered the cabin, where Jasper lit a fire while Bella arranged a place in front of the fire for them to lay. Taking off their boots they sat on the blanket and mound of pillows facing each other legs crossed. Anyone waking in on them would think they were soldiers planning an attack from how grave their expressions were.

"Jasper, I cannot for the life of me determine how we can escape our current dilemma. Please tell me you have a solution! I cannot keep up pretenses if I am forced to hear about one detail of my marriage to James Hunts. I will declare myself insane."

She was breathing heavily now, her eyes stinging with tears wishing to be shed.

"Oh darlin', come here," Jasper motioned for her to come to his embrace.

It constantly broke his heart to see the woman he loved so broken. Though most saw her riotous, rebellious side, Jasper was given the privilege to see beyond the façade. Behind the mask there was just a scared girl looking for comfort and love.

"I believe I have the perfect solution," he whispered into her hair.

She looked up into his stony face.

"Really?"

"Yes, let's run away. No one will know. We'll pack a few necessities and just leave," he said as his eyes glinted with excitement.

"What? It is not that simple, Jasper."

"Why not?"

"For starters, where do you suppose we go?"

He couldn't have thought this through. It just couldn't be as simple as just running away. The idea was very appealing, but it just wasn't plausible to her.

"Wherever you desire, but I was thinkin' we could head up north. Nobody would know who we were."

She would have loved that, to return to her home.

"How would we get there? We can't just steal your family's horses; and what about your family? They care about you, Jasper. Do you not think they will attempt to find you?"

John and Anne would be devastated if their youngest son went missing, that was true, but, Jasper already planned on leaving them a letter vaguely explaining his departure.

"Beautiful girl," he taking her face in his hands, "we could ride to the next town and take a train, take some of the older horses sell them when we arrive, or take Sal and Leroy with us to wherever we go. As for my family, they'll understand. I would give up the world just to be able to spend my life with you."

Her resolve wavered as she realized he had thought this through.

"When?"

The elation and relief that Jasper felt at those words was nothing compared to love he felt for her, but it was quite close.

"Two days, you can gather what you feel is necessary. I will make my own arrangements. No one will be able to follow us; we will leave in the night. By the time your mother realizes you're gone, we will be on a train to our new home, and by the time word reaches James, we would have already arrived. Now, my question is: where would you wish to vanish to?"

"I only have one destination…"

"Port Townsend," they said in unison.

"You would truly give up everything for that damp verdant town?" she asked with only astonishment and love in her tone.

"Everything." he whispered against her lips, "Will you give up everything?"

Jasper had waited for this moment from the second he knew Bella was the woman he wanted to spent the rest of his life loving. He took the little wooden square out of his pocket where it had been weighing him down for this moment, opening it to show the beautiful sapphire and diamond ring. The second his eyes landed on the ring, he new it was the perfect one for Bella.

"Always," she whispered also.

He brought the ring to her eyesight, he felt her tense, but the look in her eyes was nothing but pure joy, even through the shock.

"Oh my…Jasper?"

There were no words to describe how she was feeling just looking at the gorgeous ring.

"Will you give me the privilege to be your husband?"

"Yes," she whispered so softly, had he not been so close he would not have heard her.

He removed the ring from its case and placed it on her bare left ring finger. Secretly though, he wished she had worn James's ring in order to 'accidentally' misplace it in the forest, but was equally as happy she wasn't; fore there was no reminder of their past.

She examined the ring briefly before crashing her lips to Jasper's. All thoughts of food left their minds, as a new hunger over took their bodies. Bella began to lean back towards the floor pulling Jasper along with her. As he hovered over her, they disengaged their mouths and looking into each other eyes, there was nothing but raw passion, need, and pure unadulterated lust.

His eyes bored in hers, asking permission to continue. She bit her lip, which he found incredibly seductive, and nodded her head to the unspoken question. This would be the first carnal activity they both would experience, but at the moment neither was thinking about that minor detail. They were letting their bodies and hearts take control, not their minds.

Bella's hands were buried in Jasper' silky locks, while his were around her waist holding her close. Their lips were locked in a heated embrace. He tentatively drew his tongue across her bottom lip seeking entrance. She eagerly complied and started a battle for dominance as each attempted to explore the most of the others mouth. As Jasper's hands went higher, so did Bella's moans. When he reached her clothed breast, the jolt of pleasure that surged through her rendered her submissive to Jasper as he explored her mouth and body.

For the first time since they had met, Jasper silently thanked Renee for dressing Bella in a dress that latched in the front. He started to unbutton it with calculated precision as he tenderly lowered his lips to suckle her neck.

"Seems someone has lost his unsteady hands," Bella said with laughter in her voice as Jasper quickly finished undoing her dress.

Paying no attention to her comment, he fisted her dress in his hands, lifting it over her head, and revealing the tight corset and undergarments underneath. At the mere sight of her splayed beneath him, cheeks flushed a lovely shade a red that he could only imagined reached far lower than her neck, he groaned.

He sat on his heels while picking up her right leg and kneading from her thigh to her calves. He reached her calf and rolled the stocking, liberating her delicate foot. Rubbing the soles of her feet, he grinned in satisfaction at hearing her moan in pleasure. Releasing her leg, he took her left leg and repeated the process. He removed his own and return to his position over her.

"You are very good with your hands," she purred.

"Workin' the farms does have n' advantage."

She hummed in agreement, grabbed his collar, and worked her hands through the buttons of his band-collar shirt. While she was concentrating on her task, Jasper removed her over petticoat. Untucking the shirt from his trousers, Jasper lifted it over his head, flinging it somewhere in the room. His chiseled faintly sunburned chest was revelaed. At the sight, Bella felt something stirring in her nether regions that had her whimpering in desperation and need.

"Ugh," he groaned in frustration when he saw another petticoat, "Why do women wear so many garments?"

"It is devised to impede men from stripping women of their purity," Bella laughed.

"You will always be pure and innocent to me," he said as he caressed her cheek.

She quirked her eyebrow, "Oh really? Innocent?"

Catching Jasper completely off guard, Bella lunged towards him, successfully restraining him on the blanketed flooring. She straddled his hips, her petticoat rising as she grinded on his adamantine member. He could feel her soaked drawers through his trousers. Wanting to feel her in his hands, he ventured to hold her hips. However, he was thwarted, when her fingers threaded with his and pinned them above his head as she continued moving her hips against his.

"Am I…mmm…still so innocent, darling?" she batted her eyelashes looking the picture of innocence, yet her voice was sultry and heavy with desire.

"Ugnnn… no you're a succubus temptress… aahh" he managed to say through clenched teeth.

She bent forward, her lips beside his earlobe and whispered, "Excellent response."

Releasing his hands, hers began to explore his exposed chest. Everywhere her hands touched, her lips followed; kissing, biting, and soothing with her tongue. She could feel his skin heating as her desired destination drew nearer. Her finger played with the waistband of his trousers. Lightly skimming his hips, she felt them buck under her careful touch.

From his angle, Jasper had a tantalizing view of her corset constricted cleavage. Purposely avoiding his neglected arousal, Bella stroked his clothed thighs, gliding closer with each passing. Finally, in one swift motion she unfastened his trousers and tugged them down his muscular legs.

As she crawled back upwards, he noticed she was much too covered by clothing for his taste. Similar to her earlier action, he shifted their position, to where he was over her once more. Making quick work of her remaining petticoat, corset, and drawers, she was left in only a thin chemise, barely concealing her breathtaking figure.

Their lips connected once more, as Bella wrapped her legs around his waist effectively grinding her dripping sex into his hardened member. His hands caressed her thighs sensually rising, kneading her round cheeks, resulting in a surprised gasp from her. Slipping his hands under the slip of material that she still wore, he lightly grasped her breasts eliciting moans and deepening her irresistible blush.

"Make love to me, Jasper," she whispered, pure love prominent in her voice and eyes.

He shed his own drawers and lifted her chemise, leaving them completely bare. Their eyes roamed each other's bodies, their need evident in their bodies' responses. Bella's eyes widened at the sight of Jasper's well-endowed form. While his eyes were hooded at seeing what he had only dreamed of encountering.

Not being able to wait much longer, Jasper aligned his almost painful erection against her wet folds.

"This will hurt," he whispered.

"I love you, and I trust you, forever."

She closed her eyes, relaxed, and prepared for the intrusion.

"I love you, too, Bella, thank you."

Slowly he entered her. He came to her barrier and paused, allowing her to adjust thus far. Breathing deeply, she nodded, and, in one quick movement, he settled himself inside her tight hot center, not daring to move for fear of injuring her further.

The pain was not unbearable, but it was not pleasurable. Jasper rested his forehead against hers, kissing her lips and whispering apologies for hurting her. Soon though the pain receded and in its place was a new sensation, different from anything she had ever experienced.

She moved her hips against his, indicating for him to move also. He withdrew almost completely, making her whimper with need, and quickly thrust back in. He repeated the process, wanting to prolong the sensation of being one with his lover.

"Mmm… Jasper… faster," she said tightening her legs around him, allowing him to advance deeper.

Bella felt the tightening in her stomach, as he quickened his pace. Needing control, she pushed him on his back, the new position brought on a different wave of pleasure.

Her hips ground against him as his hands found sanctuary on her breasts, rolling her pebbled nipples, adding to the abundance of sensations coursing through her. His eyes landed on her collarbone, wondering what other sounds he could elicit if he were to worship the sight of her blush.

In another shift in position, Jasper sat up holding her shoulders as he suckled her breasts. The new angle sent them even deeper, both sensing their impending climaxes. Moving upwardsand biting lightly at her collarbone, caused her head to tip back, and her eyes to close. His thrusts became erratic as her legs shook.

"Oh Jasper… mmmm… I'm oh so clo…aaahh" she attempted to say but managed to only hiss.

"Me too… ughnnn… darlin'."

They returned to their original position. Jasper barely able to control his release, lifted her left leg over his right shoulder. That was all that was needed for her to scream his name as she climaxed, her internal muscles contracting around him sending him over the edge with her.

He released her leg and collapsed next to her bring her to his side. Taking hold of her face, they kissed passionately, both breathing heavily. Slowing the kiss to light pecks, they could not hold off the tired smiles that appeared on their faces. Covering their bodies with a blanket and reaching for some pillows they settled into each others arms with final 'I love yous'. They drifted into a blissful dreamless sleep, knowing soon this would be their life just the two of them and no one interfering.

* * *

A/N:Ok I wrote this really fast after the last one but it has been with the beta, and she was pretty busy so she managed to get it to me today. Announcement: I start college tomorrow I don't know how busy I will be, but to those who know this is my freshman year so from what I hear I will never be bored. Don't expect me to update as soon as I have been, and please understand if I don't update for awhile I fully intend to take my story to the end. On to talk of the chapter this is one of the most culminating chapters of the story, please be nice. The only reason I wrote this so fast and was able to write so much (p.s. you got a full 9 pages without the A/N) was because I kept rereading your reviews and they really encouraged me so please, if you got something nice to say or if their is something you want to comment on I'd love to hear it. I want to share a little tidbit Pocahontas with you the hoop skirt scene (which I hope everyone found funny) was sort of inspired by this weird fascination I have with them. If you are from the generation then you know that the second movie features a scene where they are attempting to jam her into one well that's where it started, and so I wanted to incorporate some of that in here. Also my beta had a little trouble understanding a word I put in for those who don't know 'adamantine' means hard, or unbreakable, just in the poetic sense. So that's it just read and review, I also enjoy hearing your guesses on where the plot will go, but generally I just want to hear what you think wether it be good or bad. Pics of the sapphire ring will be on my profile.


	12. Open Wounds

Special thanks to my awesome Beta NCChris!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, twilight is solely own by Stephenie Meyer. I just borrowed the characters.

Well we have come to the end of our journey and they skipped merrily into the sunset! *Sigh*

* * *

Chapter 11 – Open Wounds

Morning came as the sun's rays slowly appeared from behind the horizon. Bella's chin rested on her lover's bare chest gazing at the peaceful look he displayed while sleeping. The night's events ran through her mind, every caress and loving whisper, as fresh in her ears as if it was happening again. A permanent smile remained etched on her face. They had been one, even if it was temporarily; they had connected in a way that would stay with them to the end of her days. _She was sure of days._

The words echoed in her mind, even though she was not an impatient person. Two days seemed a lifetime away. She contemplated enticing Jasper to leave today. There was an unusual feeling in the pit of her stomach, something similar to a sense of dread and it unsettled her, yet she discarded it. She was probably nervous about leaving, and went back to seeing studying the angelic beauty that was the man she loved.

"What's got you so deep in that mind of yours, darlin'?" he whispered, eyes still closed and body relaxed.

"How…?" she began.

"I could feel you tense, now tell me what's wrong?"

His hand lightly rubbed her back, soothing her rigid muscles.

"Nothing,"

He opened one eye not believing her, but decided now was not the time spoil the calm morning.

"How long were you awake?" she asked curious.

"Awhile."

She kissed the spot over his heart.

"Good morning," she said as she reached his lips for a lingering kiss.

He hummed in satisfaction, "Good indeed, darlin'."

She extended her hand to swipe away a lock of hair that fallen into his eye.

"I love you," she said reverence and awe clear in her deep chocolate eyes.

"I love you too, darlin'. Thank you for everything you've given me."

His other hand began combing through her hair; further unwinding Bella's state of mind. He looked through hooded eyes at her lips wanting nothing more than to taste them again. Sensing his needs, Bella slowly bent forward capturing his top lip between her own.

The kiss began very tender, and slowly built in passion. The sheets crumpled as Jasper proceeded to rest above Bella. He moved his hands from her hair to her sides lightly grasping her waist.

It was as if in the previous night, Pandora's box had been opened. Instead of releasing all of its evil, it released the entire force of the ardor they held for each other. Now that it was set free, the need to hold back had disappeared.

As he buried his head in the crook of her neck, he inhaled deeply, committing to memory every detail about these moments, the way she looked as she climaxed, how her deity like body, which could surpass that of Aphrodite, seemed to glow in the soft light the fire provided.

This morning, it was her smell he committed to memory. Her skin smelled divine, naturally sweet, like a mix between the ripest of fruits and the freshest of flowers. It was impossible for him not to desire a taste. Oh, she tasted even better than what his imagination could have created.

He trailed butterfly kisses along her neck and jaw line. Once he found her lips, instinct took over much the same way it had the previous night. They made love until the sun had fully risen.

~*~

"We should return," Bella said while they ate.

Thankfully, the cold temperature of the night did not allow any of the food Jasper had packed to spoil, enabling them to enjoy some much needed nourishment.

"Yes, I reckon you're right, darlin', I just don't want to leave this," he said looking around the tiny cabin that had become their home in the past few months.

"I will miss this place, but thanks to you I will always have the fondest of memories here," she sighed not really wanting to leave their sanctuary either.

"We'll come back someday," Jasper whispered kissing the crown of her head, "I promise."

"I will hold you to that," Bella murmured, turning her head slightly in order to kiss his lips.

While they dressed Bella decided to forego her corset and one of the two petticoats, to be able to ride more comfortably. The room was left spotless just like the first time they came, and, with one last look, Jasper closed the door behind them.

The ride was quiet; there was no racing, just a slow steady pace to enjoy the still morning's tranquility. By the time they reached Bella's house it was already nine-thirty. The sun had risen completely and everyone was hard at work.

At Bella's window, they reluctantly separated.

Once inside she turned towards Jasper, where he handed her the rest of her clothing. Then she took his face in her hands and kissed him with as much love and passion she could muster.

"Two days," she said into the kiss.

~*~

After Bella saw Jasper off she turned toward her room, only to be surprise when she saw Nelly sitting up on her bed.

"Nelly! What are you doing in my room?" she said clutching at her racing heart.

"Your moder came in dis mornin' to check on you," Nelly replied coolly.

"Oh God! Please tell me she believed you to be me?" Bella pleaded.

"Yes, she didn't evan boder to cheack closely, but I want to know is why half your clothes are in your hands." Nelly said giving her a disapproving look.

Bella looked down her hair shielding her face from showing the blush that had formed there.

"Um… No reason. I just wanted to be comfortable while we slept," she said while preparing herself for the onslaught.

"Don't lie, Bella, you neva had dat ability," Nelly said sternly.

Bella bit her bottom lip, not knowing how to explain to her best friend what had led to her and Jasper's love making.

"We are leaving," she said, "in two days, and we simply let go of our emotions. It's difficult to explain, but we get to be together forever, Nell. No more hiding, we will just runaway, and make a new life for ourselves. In just two days I will be free to love him, and no one can do anything about it." Bella sighed falling back, landing softly on the bed.

She stared dreamily at the ceiling imagining how wonderful her life would finally be. Meanwhile, Nelly shook her head at the wistful girl. She knew Bella was strong, hardheaded, and somewhat rebellious, but she was also quite naïve and Nelly feared for the day that she would be shown the harsh realities of the world.

~*~

Jasper arrived back to the plantation, finding that everyone was up and working on their daily tasks. The stables were bustling as he parked both Leroy and Sally, making quick work of the bags on each of the horses' saddle and then allowed the caretakers to take them for a wash.

He went to the kitchen, where the staff greeted him cheerily, and helped clean the dirty dishes he had borrowed the previous night. After eating a quick snack, he made his way outside to start on his already delayed chores.

It was lunchtime and Jasper decided to take a break and eat in his room, taking the opportunity to start packing the necessities for his trip. He was in the middle of stuffing a shirt into his knapsack when a shot was heard throughout the property.

"GET THE GUNS!! LAS ARMAS!! ANDELE, ANDELE!!" he heard being shouted.

Leaving his task unfinished, he grabbed the musket he kept in his room and ran towards the outside meeting his mother in the foyer. Her face was pure horror for not knowing what was happening to their seemingly peaceful home. Together they hurried to the back door towards the farm. Jasper started to look around while running to see what had happened, when the piercing scream of his mother made his head spin to her direction.

"JOHN!!!" she screeched.

He followed his mother's sight to the most horrifying scene he could ever witness. On the ground, just a mere twenty feet away, was John Whitlock's motionless body. Blood was seeping through his clothes and pooling around him, some of the men were with him, while the others ran in different directions guns in hand ready to fire.

Rage filled Jasper's heart as he joined those searching for the murderer, when his eyes caught something on the edge of the land. It was a man, musket in hand, and clad in a Yankee uniform.

He turned towards the others and yelled, "I FOUND HIM! LET'S GO!"

When he turned back, the man had disappeared.

"NOOO!" he screamed.

In the background, he could hear his mother's plea to his father, her sobbing breaking his heart. His legs wouldn't move as the men ran past him in the direction he had pointed to. The gun he held fell to the ground. Knowing he was needed there, he ran back to his father's body.

Anne finally forced her shocked legs to move and ran to her husband not caring for gracefulness or how her dress would be ruined. She knelt beside him while the others ran frantic. Her hands quickly became stained with his blood as she looked at his face. Her hand caressed his face, tears running in a steady stream down her face. He feebly turned his face to her hand and placed his own hand over hers. His face was pale as he lost more blood, his lips loosing color as he kissed her palm, making her sob harder.

"Don't leave me here, please you have to be strong and not leave me," she pleaded.

She could tell he was trying to speak, but air wasn't getting into his lungs making it impossible. Jasper approached them quickly and knelt behind John's other side.

John's eyes quickly locked unto his son's face, swallowing hard he drew a ragged breath and mouthed 'I love you, son', and then, he turned his face toward his wife. The one he had courted, the woman who had supported him in everything he ventured to do in his younger years. To him, she was the strongest woman he'd ever met. He knew it would be hard once he was gone, but she would pull through. Everyone would need her in the end. His only regret was that he wouldn't be by her side through everything, but he would be watching.

Using the last of his air supply he whispered, "I love you, you amazing woman."

With one last kiss he fell limp in both their arms. Her sobs grew in intensity as she clung to her husband's now lifeless body.

"JOHN!! NO!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" she kept screaming.

Jasper was filled with rage. To shocked to react, he had yet to shed a tear. He was angry at the man who took his father from him and his family, at his father for ever being involved in the military, and at himself for taking his eyes away from the man who had left his family fatherless. He stepped up beside his mother and wrapped his arms around her, attempting to pry her from the lifeless form.

"NO! No, no!" she shook her head, not wanting to be separated from the love her life.

"Momma, come on, you gotta let them take care of him," he said, being strong for the two of them.

Reluctantly, she let go of the body. Her dress was drenched in blood some had even become matted in her golden blonde hair. Jasper took her in his arms as she kept sobbing on his shirt. Her blood shot eyes looked slightly crazed as did the rest of her appearance, and he feared for her mental stability, hoping that he wouldn't lose her emotionally, too.

As her crying diminished to hiccups, he figured she was tiring he took her in his arms and carried her inside. When he entered the house, the maids frantically approached Jasper. They had already heard what had happened and told him that they would care for Anne.

They attempted to get him to rest, but he declined and retired to his father's office to think.

~*~

Once inside, he closed the door behind him. The emotions from the day were weighing down on his shoulders. The pain, the sadness, and the loss were too much and with one look around the office he broke down.

He screamed so loudly the other inhabitants of the house feared the whole town would hear. He punched everything in sight until the blood on his hands was more than just his father's, taking comfort in the blood flowing from his battered fists. When he reached the desk, he saw portraits of his whole family and, angrier then he had ever felt, he rammed the large mahogany desk with all the force he could muster. Papers, books, and other miscellaneous articles plummeted to the floor along with the, now overturned, desk.

His breathing was ragged as he looked around the destroyed office. Finally releasing his frustrations, he fell in a heap onto the floor crying, letting go of all the pain.

The clock in the room chimed; its hands pointing north to midnight, a new day had come and Jasper's whole world had changed in the course of one fateful afternoon.

~*~

Word of the happenings at the Whitlock's had not reached anyone outside the plantation that day, but Bella's feeling of dread had her nerves on edge. After falling asleep, she awoke with a jolt at exactly twelve, the grandfather clock in the living room chiming the information.

Tears were running down her face and her chest was constricted with pain. The only thought that ran through her mind was…

_Jasper needs me._

~*~

The next day, Jasper woke up in his bed. With no memory of how he came to be there, he figured one of the workers found him in the office and moved him. The previous day's events ran through his mind. He checked himself over and realized someone must have changed and cleaned him for there wasn't a spot of blood on him. His hands were bandaged to cover his self-inflicted wounds.

He got up and, as he walked the halls, the reality of the situation hit him harder. All the mirrors were covered with black cloth. The dining room, usually a busy and bustling place, was quiet. Food was on the table, his father's place empty, and his mother sat in her seat staring at the empty chair beside her. Her eyes were dull and lifeless, the food on her plate untouched.

Jasper sat beside her as she held a handkerchief to dry the stray tears that fell from her eyes. Someone had dressed her in black mourning clothes making her skin look even sallower than it already was.

"Momma?" he asked, "You haven't touched your food."

"I can't eat, I'm not hungry."

"Ma, you've got to eat, look just this. Get something in that stomach of yours." he said as he prepared half a grapefruit for her.

Taking the spoon next to her plate he scooped out the tart fruit with sugar on top and lifted it to her lips. Tentatively she opened her mouth and ate the piece of fruit. He repeated the process over and over, feeling like he was feeding a child. Once the fruit was gone he wiped her lips clean and softly said, "All done."

"Rosa," Jasper called.

The housemaid came through the kitchen door; she was a mature woman in her mid forties and of Mexican had spent the majority of her life with the Whitlock family.

"Sí, Jasper?" she asked.

"Could you take my mother to the sitting room? It's not good for her to stare at that chair," he kindly asked the helpful woman.

"Claro. Come on, Señora. Let's go relax in the other room."

She gently took Anne's arm and led her to the next room.

Jasper sighed; he hated seeing his mother so vulnerable and broken. He prepared his own breakfast and in the midst of eating he remembered how he had yet to contact Bella. All day yesterday after he had abandoned his task of packing, he had not thought of her. Yet, the truth was he needed her now more than ever. He also realized that these events changed their plans to leave.

He had barely finished eating, when the morning was interrupted. Jasper looked up as two men in official dress entered the room unannounced.

"Can I help you folks?" Jasper's asked, his voice flat.

"Jasper Whitlock?" one of the men asked.

Jasper nodded.

"We are very sorry for your loss. I'm General Lee, I used to work with your father. That man was quite the strategist."

At the title, Jasper stood up and shook the man's hand.

"That he was, sir," he said.

"Well, we just came here to do our part, anythin' you need, son, don't be shy to ask. I know food is probably already pourin' in but my wife wanted to do somethin' for ya'll so she sent a pot roast," the general said, pointing to the dish one of the housemaids was carrying to the kitchen.

"Thank you, sir."

After they left, the rest of the day passed in somewhat the same fashion. People came and went giving their condolences and bringing more food than what they would ever eat. It was safe to say that the cooking staff was off for the day and everyone ate from the food that was brought.

Jasper was sitting in the, now clean, office when there was a gentle knock on the door.

"Come in," he said his voice rough with emotion.

The door opened to reveal Bella.

"Hi," she said meekly.

"Hey, darlin'," he said standing up and moving towards her.

Taking her hands, he led her further into the room and closed the door behind them.

"What are you doin' here?"

"Um… I felt something bad all day yesterday and last night I had this feeling that you needed me, but it was not until this morning we received the news," she said her eyes shining with tears.

"Are you here with your mother?" he asked, slightly confused due to the feud.

"Yes, she actually acted human. We brought chicken soup. She said Anne would probably not eat anything heavy. Imagine that, my mother concerned for someone else's well being. She is babbling on to your mother about wedding details to distract her. I think your mother isn't really hearing her," Bella rambled.

He suddenly took her in his arms in a bone-crushing hug. She could feel his body convulsing in sobs.

"Shh, it's ok. You are going to be fine, Jasper," she soothed, "I'm here. I will _always _be here for you."

He took her back to where he sat behind the desk and set her on his lap. She ran her hands through his hair, and was satisfied when his shoulders relaxed slightly into her caress.

"You know this means we can't leave now, darlin'." he said with nothing but pain and sadness.

They had been so close, but fate always has a way of contorting your life to its whims.

"I figured, but I will still be here. We will get through this together. You are the strongest person I know, all you should be concentrating on is being strong for your mother. She needs your strength Jasper"

"He liked you, he would have loved you if he'd had the chance to truly know you," Jasper said giving her the first smile, though small, that he had given since the incident.

"He knew about me?" she asked confused.

"The old man knew before anyone. If it wasn't for him, I don't think we would be where we are," he said tightening his hold on her waist.

"He sounds like he was a very perceptive man," she smiled back and gave him a small peck on his lips.

"I've been thinking, Bella, and I can't get that man out of my head," he said his rage returning.

"What man?"

"The one who murdered my father, I have to find him."

"And how are you going to do that? From what I heard no one could find any trace of him," she asked worried about were he was taking the matter to.

"I have to join," his eyes spoke volumes of his dislike of this act, how he would hurt her.

"Join? Join what?" Bella said becoming frantic.

He couldn't be serious.

"I am joining the Confederacy and avenging my father."

All of Jasper's wariness was replaced with deadly resolve.

"No! You cannot do this Jasper. What about your mother? Are you going to make her lose a son after losing her husband?"

"They killed my father! What do you expect me to do? Stand by and let them murder someone else's family?"

His voice rose, but not enough to alert others of the argument.

"And how do you suppose to join? You're only seventeen, or have you forgotten your age with your common sense?"

Over her dead and buried body would he walk into battle.

"I can fake my age. It's not difficult. I'm doin' this whether you approve or not."

He took both her hands in his.

"All I am askin' is that you wait for me. Please, darlin'?"

Tears were streaming down her face as she shook her head.

"Please don't do this, Jasper. You can't leave me or Anne here," she pleaded.

"Bella, it is my duty as a son to avenge my father. I can't sleep without seeing his face haunt my dreams. It's my fault he got away and now I'm goin' to find him and finish him," he said leaving no room for discussion.

She turned away from him, her body shaking with sobs.

"I'll come back, Bella, I promise, as long as you wait," he said hugging her shoulders.

"There is nothing I can do, is there?" she asked meekly know the answer before he voiced it.

He shook his head. No matter what he had to do this.

"You have to promise me that you will not do anything reckless. Even if you have to return to me without your legs, you get back here," she said the hardness in her voice betraying how much she still did not agree with his decision.

It was foolish and impetuous, he never thought of the consequences. Yet, she would not become like her mother, unlike her, she would wait for him.

"I will, darlin', always. I love you."

He kissed her.

"I love you, too," she whispered.

"When will you leave?" Bella asked as he held her.

"After the burial. Can you do one last thing for me, darlin'?" he asked.

"Anything."

"Take care of my momma. She is going to need someone after I'm gone."

If they couldn't have him, they would at least have each other.

"Of course."

She left a little while after that, trailing behind her mother with one last glance to Jasper. How could one day change their lives so dramatically?

* * *

A/N:PSYCH!! HAHA Who did I have going there for a minute? This story is far from over actually it just got started! I ask for a moment of silence for my favorite DILF(next to Carlisle of course). John Whiltock was a great man, an honest man, a brave man, and an extremely supportive man. It pained me when the decision came to kill him, he is one of my favorite of the period characters (besides Jasper). I always imagined John being a little bit of a younger version of Mark Harmon (he is my mom's only celeb crush, she loves NCIS), if I was older and I mean a lot older he would totally be hot to me(he gave Jasper his baby blues).*Bows head in Silence* In other news to my girl **J****asper's Yankee Girl **you've been asking about it since the story started and I gave it a lot of thought and this is how I wanted Jasper to go join. I knew he would never go willingly and lets face it my Jasper may be a born soldier but he doesn't want to acknowledge it. It was going to take something big to make Jasper go back on his 'oh so concrete plans.' I don't know if many of you have noticed but my characters need a little bit of maturing and are seeing the world a little through rose colored glasses. The next few chapters are going to be really hard for these two so please show your love and support and review! I have big plans and the next chapter will only bring more angst to the already boiling pot. Thank you to all my readers and all those who reviewed I hope this chapter makes you really stick with my story!


	13. The Funeral

Special thanks to my awesome Beta NCChris!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, twilight is solely own by Stephenie Meyer. I just borrowed the characters.

* * *

Chapter 12 – The Funeral

The procession of people passed through the Whitlock mansion from the front doors and flowed into the dining room where most exited crying at the sight of the deceased. Women crowded around the grieving family, while mother and son remained stoic, only speaking when asked a direct question.

Bella and her mother, like so many others, entered the overflowing house. While Renee followed the path of the others, Bella elected to omit viewing the displayed body. She was making her way over to the Whitlocks, but was hindered by none other than Beth Anne Smithen.

"Isabella, where is that gorgeous fiancée of yours?" she asked looking around her trying to see if the man in questions was simply going through the dining room like every other person.

"On business," Bella said in an indifferent tone.

"Oh, what a shame," Beth Anne lamented.

To Bella, she looked rather like a petulant child than a mature woman at a funeral.

"I can't wait until that fabulous engagement party, I bet your just jumpin' at the thought."

"Beth Anne, I don't believe this is the appropriate time for this," Renee interrupted.

Bella mentally exhaled in relief, she was in no mood to correct an elder.

"Renee," Beth Anne said showing the same fraudulent emotions as before. "Missed you at the party, hope you're feelin' better, hon."

"Yes, I am feeling much better," Renee, replied, while she gave Bella a subtle thankful gaze.

She grabbed Bella's arm and led her towards the Whitlocks.

"The nerve of that woman! John was a good man and here she is at his funeral talking about parties," Renee tutted her tongue.

~*~

Jasper stood next to his mother as the throng of people gave their condolences. Anne had improved in the days following the incident. She still did not say much, but she now did not need Jasper's assistance with meals. Those who stayed after offering their sympathy were mostly women. Their presence was eating away at Jasper's patience.

See, Jasper was a fairly tolerant person, but when someone who was not in any way family tried to take control of his home, there was just no mercy. Though some of the intentions were pure, others took to ordering the staff in a manor that was not acceptable in his home.

_Would this day ever end? _he thought, as he defused another boiling situation between Rosa and a woman asking for more food to be put out.

Even though he thought this, Jasper knew that tonight he would do the hardest thing that he had ever had to do, leave.

He looked up to see Bella and Renee making their way towards him. Jasper could see the emotions burning in her eyes, as they were the same in his. He knew she was still upset over his decision, but in his mind there was no other solution. Renee was the most surprising, though; she had helped with the funeral, but not tried to take over. She was keeping her distance while still being comforting, but he guessed this was just the human deep inside her making its presence known. He feared once he left and the remnants of the death had passed she would go back to her former schemes of attempting to control Bella's life.

Renee leaned into her daughter's ear and whispered something that Jasper's distance did not allow him to hear. Bella nodded her head in agreement and was patted on the hands as her mother walked away to help wherever she was needed.

She stood there slightly disoriented, with no inclination as to what she should do. Jasper's eyes where piercing into her, willing her to look at him. Feeling the gaze directed at her, Bella lifted her head towards the all too familiar blue eyes. She could see the desperation and need for escape in them much like she believed hers were communicating back. With the slight tilt of his head, she took this gesture as her lead and followed him discretely to the same office as the previous visit.

When she entered, Bella was immediately assaulted with the harsh memories that accompanied the dreaded room. Once again, she had to will herself not to cry and scream at her lover for his abandonment. Instead, she took upon herself to show a subdued façade.

Though Jasper felt the guilt associated with his actions, he could not bring himself to regret them. He closed the door as he entered the new confined space, quickly releasing the breath he held, as he felt the tension from the sorrowful emotions of the house.

Bella stood appraising him, as he did to her. Neither one moving, neither one saying a word, yet both were gauging each other's emotion.

He made the first movement by stepping closer to her. She saw the motion and immediately extended her arms to welcome him into her embrace. Wasting no time, Jasper stepped into his lover's arms. They held each other and the world around them disappeared. This touch, innocent as it may be, was what they had both been craving.

Stray tears fell down her porcelain face, turning her doe brown eyes red from the force of holding them at bay.

"What am I to do once you are gone?" she whispered into his chest.

"You will be just fine, concentrate on not gettin' married and stayin' far away from James, alright sugar?" he kissed her forehead.

"How can I be fine if you're not here? You say you will come back, but what is my guarantee of that?"

"Why can't you believe me when I promise I'll come back, Bella?" he asked exasperated, today was not the day for this argument.

"Because, everyday someone's life is lost in that wretched war. Tell me Jasper, how many off those men do you think promised their loved ones they would return? You're just making…"

"God dammit, Bella I am not your father!"

He regretted those words as soon he uttered them.

She stepped out of his arms, her hands up in defense as he tried to apologies.

"No, you are not," her cold voice said.

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for," he apologized. "But you have to understand I will do everything in my power to come back. I would not leave you if I didn't believe with every fiber of my being that I will see you again."

Her head bowed as the tears streamed down her face.

"My weariness does not come from fear of not seeing you, but the fear that I will not see you again in this life," she confessed.

He slowly moved closer to her, assessing her willingness to allow him closeness. Seeing as she was not fighting, he took her face in his hands, and touched his forehead to hers; she felt his warm breath hit her face.

"I'm not about to pretend that I'm not afraid Bella, because I am, but I will always be with you. I will never leave you, not fully, because you will forever have my heart with you," he sealed his words by joining his lips to hers.

The kiss was salty and wet, from the tears they both still shed.

The time seemed to have sped up, after their momentary argument. Feelings were still hurt and emotions ran high, but both were resigned to the fact that in there would never be a winner in this fight. Eventually, they returned to the mourning sea, where no one seemed to have noticed their absence.

After hours of the body being exposed to exhibition, those willing to walk left on foot behind the carriage carrying the family and the deceased. Anne held onto her son as the men buried the casket in the dreaded man made whole surrounded by so many others who had past. Tears were freely falling down her face, as Jasper attempted to hold his in, as a show of strength.

People left, giving their condolences and offers of help, and, too soon for Jasper's taste, the house was once again quiet. Anne had retreated to her quarters as everyone busily cleaned the sitting room. He looked around his childhood home; the memories that encompassed the house were clutching at his heart; the happiness of birthday celebrations and the milestones of his youth.

Then came the less pleasant of those, news of his brother's demise was taken in the sitting room. Thomas Allen Whitlock was one of the first men who enlisted when the war began. He fought out of pride and the honor that came from knowing he had been at a war. Unfortunately, he was taken prisoner and starved in the neglectful prisons. John had supported his eldest's decision and even took it upon himself to volunteer his strategic services with local soldiers. After Tom's death, he became even more involved in the war.

In the past six months, however, the family had seemed to be mending from the loss. His father worked from their home regularly, instead of being gone for weeks and returning for brief intervals. While his mother simply busied herself to the point were at the end of the day she would simply collapse from exhaustion.

Those were dark times for the Whitlocks, yet they seemed to come out of it with a better sense of what was truly important in life, family. Now with two members gone, Jasper understood the reason behind his father's behavior after Tom. The drive to make things right again only solidified his intentions for leaving.

~*~

The cover of night had fallen over the plantation, making it the perfect time for Jasper to take his leave. He took the bag with his pertinences and his musket, and, with one final look at his childhood room, he closed the door and walked down the stairs. The letter he held in his hands seemed to weigh the world, as he placed it on the dining room table.

He saddled and mounted Leroy, and, with one last goodbye, he sped off and away from the plantation that had provided so much shelter throughout the years.

~*~

Bella sat staring at the sky from her windowsill, wondering if the life she lived would ever improve. As she watched the clock, thoughts of her lover's whereabouts, bombarded her subconscious. Would he have left already? Where would he be if he had?

Time passed and sleep never came; she only felt the hollowness taking over her heart, and growing every second. She knew deep inside that he was gone, all there was to do now was pray that he would keep his promise and return.

~*~

The Whitlock house was eerily quiet the next morning. The chill of winter was bitter on the land as everyone had a sense of dread, but no one knew the reason. The kitchen staff was working on breakfast for the surviving Whitlocks. Anne walked down the stairs of her quiet home, when Rosa stepped in front of her with a somber face.

"Rosa, what's happened?" she asked instantly becoming alarmed.

With trembling hands she extended and envelope, Jasper's script read _Mother_ on its cover. Anne furrowed her eyebrows as she took the letter from the housekeeper's hand. As she read her son's handwriting, she knew that nothing good could come from its contents.

She slowly opened the heavy piece of paper and allowed herself fall into one of the dinning room seats as she began to read.

_To My Loving Mother,_

_I am sorry for what you are about to discover. It was never my intention to hurt you, but I feel it is my duty to fight those who have hurt us so. Please, speak to no one of my departure. I have promised someone very special that I will return and I will make that same promise to you. There is no telling when my return will be, but I will do everything in my power to return…_

Tears blurred her vision as she lowered the letter. When would the misery end? Rosa gently took the letter from her hands and continued to read where Anne had been unable to continue.

_I am truly sorry for the feelings I am sure you must be feeling while reading these most dreadful words. Yet, I cannot bring myself to regret my decision. Hold your words and bickering for when I am back in your arms, let that be your motivation to believe. This may have started as a quest for vengeance, but it has become the pursuit for honor, not just for my father but for Thomas as well. Neither deserved to die, and I will make sure that those responsible face the same fate. Do not fret for my safety, but be wary of your health. I ask of you to keep Isabella Swan company and provide protection if the need ever arise._

_My deepest love and appreciation,_

_Your son, Jasper Andrew Whitlock_

Looking at the broken hearted mother, Rosa wondered if there would ever be a day of joy for this family.

* * *

A/N: We say goodbye to Jasper *wipes tear away* Is it just me or do we seem to be loosing our men? I hope you all liked the more human side of Renee, see she is not a total Bitch! Well anyway, I'm sorry for what I've done by making you wait, but I have resigned myself to not publish a chapter unless it passes through my beta. She's awesome NCChris, and she has a life that is more important than twilight so don't fault her! Chapter 13 is finished and in the beta, I'm hoping and aiming for at least 10 reviews for this chapter! Each reviews is rewarded with a juicy teaser!So get to it and press the little green button, Come on you know you want to!! Pwetty Pwease *queue cute pout*? I'm looking forward to the flood of Reviews if I'm not satisfied I can make you wait longer!!! Naaaaa just kidding :P! SERIOUSLY REVIEW! You can now follow me on my blog and twitter. Both links are on my profile, I've entered the 21st century people!! Love you all my faithful readers!! Till next we meet, what will happen next DUN DUN DUHHHHNNN!


	14. Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

Thanks to NCChris she was a great beta!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all it characters are not mine, I mean no copyright infringement.

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Chapter 13 – Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

Time passed and Bella had barely received two letters from Jasper. While the town buzzed at the sudden disappearance of the boy, no one truly knew of his whereabouts. Anne barely discussed her youngest and, as the war progressed, idle gossip dwindled from the tongues of the curious women. The surviving matriarch of the Whitlock family had yet to make contact with the Swan girl, and, as Renee realized that she was no longer needed, her attentions where returned to her daughter's impending marriage.

Plans were back in order, tailors were called and an engagement party had been set. Bella protested and attempted to reason, but her mother always seemed to have a one-track mind for meaningless things.

Currently, Renee was pondering the differences between shades of white that would serve in a wedding dress.

"We should go with the pure white, don't you agree?" she asked Bella.

"Sure," she responded clearly not interested.

"The off-white is not a good color for a wedding gown, seems to me it would be symbolic of dressing a trollop to look virginal. The pure white is more pristine, it would make you look as innocent as you are."

She kept talking even though it was obvious the only person listening was the tailor.

Bella's mind had drifted off to Jasper's last letter. Ever since the first arrived, she would imagine what he would look like while writing the words of love. Though she always hoped the image would be of a thoughtful looking Jasper writing while watching the setting sun; the images the letter brought forth would often be of her lover in a tent hurrying his words as a mass of carnage ensued in the background.

His last message had been especially alarming. He described how they had lost two men simply scouring off of a supposedly abandoned Union camp. He was already experiencing so much, yet he had barely started his journey. He also spoke of his inability to follow orders, his superiors were both angered and impressed by his natural ability to lead rather than follow. They suspected he would climb through the ranks quickly.

"Bella?"

She was broken out of her reverie by her mother's insistence on her being measured for her wedding gown. Not willing to argue with the pigheaded woman, she stood from her chair and allowed the tailor to take her measurements. Meanwhile, her mother gave orders on what she wanted in the dress.

~*~

"Are you decent, Isabella?" Renee asked through the door.

Bella looked at herself in the mirror; her face was slightly paler than normal. She feared illness, but kept her opinions to herself. No need to worry anyone in these trying times.

"Yes, mother," her monotone voice drifted towards the door.

Renee flitted into the room as if the wedding itself was due to happen in a matter of minutes.

"The guests are arriving, and you, my darling daughter, have to greet them along side your fiancé. Who, incidentally, is standing in the foyer waiting for his bride-to-be."

Stepping behind Bella, she fixed a few lose tendrils from her mahogany curls.

"You look beautiful darling. Surely every woman will be envious," Renee said as she took in her daughter's appearance.

While Bella's mind was a torrent of pleas for her freedom, she often wondered how her mother could change personalities so drastically. Where was the empathic and compassionate woman that had surfaced for the Whitlock's grief?

"Thank you, Mother."

Renee sighed exasperated at her daughter's emotionless expression. How would she be able to great her guests and show a jovial attitude, if she looked as if she would nearly collapse from boredom?

"Isabella, dear, smile, it is your engagement party. You should be ecstatic to have the town here to celebrate this most joyful occasion," her voice was both soft, as if talking to an infant, and pleading for her cooperation before her temper took control.

Bella realized that if she desired to have her mother with a pleasant attitude, she'd best grin and bare it.

~*~

"Ah Isabella, you have kept me waiting. I thought I would have to great our guests all on my lonesome," his fraudulently cheerful voice said, as he grasped her hand kissed the back with his cold hard lips.

Drawing her to his side he whispered rather coldly in her ear, "Let's not let it happen again, shall we?"

Bella's spine shuddered, as she heard the threat behind his words. His eyes briefly darkened, and she could have sworn the green left his iris, yet it happened so fast she was unsure if it was only her imagination. He turned his attention to Renee, who once again seemed transfixed with the swirling green orbs. Soon, she would be agreeing to James' every command.

The night wore on as both men and women traipsed through the mildly expansive grounds of the Henderson home. Bella lost count of how many congratulations she had heard, and barely remembered half the people she had been introduced to. By the looks on both Renee and James' faces she had played her role of dutiful fiancé quite well. Though there were times where a discreet shove from James would make her bite back her comments, especially those pertaining to the war. Bella often wondered if there was some kind of spell over the southern states that made people ignorant of human kindness.

Men of different calibers repeated crude joke after crude joke about the poor souls that were forced to work for them. Worse than the telling of these jokes, were the people who laughed at them. Bella felt her disgust rise as she kept drowning her sorrows in champagne flutes and glasses of whine.

Eventually people grew tired, some were past an inebriated state. Bella, to her utter dismay and dislike, had to sustain herself on James's marble hard body. She felt on the verge of collapsing due to tiredness that grew to dizziness, which she attributed to the copious amount of alcohol she ingested.

Renee approached the couple as the last of the guests left on the carriages.

"Well wasn't a most successful affair?" she said cheerfully.

Bella was most baffled at her mother's ability to be so flamboyant, while she was barely to keep her eyes open.

"I believe so. I also believe this young lady is in need of some rest," James said gesturing to Bella.

She had behaved herself, with the exception of select moments when her mouth ran away from her. In his opinion, she deserved the rest. Soon though, she would be his wife and he would be that much closer to his goal.

~*~

Her head pounded as the rays of sun drifted through her window. Bella groaned as she turned on her back and opened her eyes to stare at her ceiling. Her stomach churned, nausea swelled as her head spiraled, bile rose up her throat burning in its trajectory. She narrowly escaped the confines of her bed to her washroom when she emptied the contents of her stomach.

Both Nelly and Renee heard Bella's distress, and immediately made their way towards her room. Upon entering the washroom they found Bella perched on the floor, with her head bent toward the toilet. Nelly rushed to the pale girl and held her hair back from obstructing her face.

"I see the champagne has reared its ugly head on you darling," Renee commented, while Bella had the immense urge to glare at her.

After dry heaving from aftershocks of the nausea, she slumped back towards Nelly as the housekeeper cradled her and attempted to soothe her.

"I tink you shald avoid alcohol from now on, Miss Bella."

"Serves her right for drinking to such an extent, now get off the floor and ready yourself we have much to do," she stalked off as Nelly took a wet washcloth and applied it to Bella's over heated neck.

~*~

Preparations continued and Bella felt as though she had been pulled in a thousand different directions. Everything had to be to her mother's liking from silverware to drinks and food that would be served. She even oversaw guest lists. All the while, she dragged Bella to all the different venues, and when she wasn't forced to follow her mother, her tasks consisted of spending "quality time" with James, as every young couple that is promised to each other should do.

Those afternoons were spent acting as an accessory to his arm, as he paraded her around the town. More often than not, Bella felt as though he were silently training her. Telling her when to walk or talk, chastising her when she said something he disliked, all as if she were some lap dog.

Two weeks had passed since the party, and today she was thankful that James had out of town business to attend to. Her mother was planning from their home, and as they walked through the grounds Renee barked orders on where everything would be placed. Although she had not been ill since the morning following the party, she had been rather light headed and tired. All of which she attributed to the constant stressful environment she had been thrust into lately.

Bella impatiently trailed behind her mother, without alerting her of her restlessness. Another of Jasper's letters had arrived, and Nelly had kept it hidden for her. She had begged in her last letter to him for answers on what she should do. How James was slowly becoming more possessive over her and her remorse for not being able to visit this family's farm do to her fixed schedule.

"…and the band should be placed right at that corner. Bands should be heard not seen. We will have tables surrounding this large perimeter. Doesn't that sound wonderful darling? Isabella? Bella!"

Renee's expression grew panicked as she saw her daughter's body sway to the non-existent wind. Bella's head spun, her vision became blurred, and she could feel her body relenting to the pull of gravity.

After watching her daughter collapse, Renee called for a doctor as the garden workers helped bring Bella inside. Her limp body was laid on her bed as Nelly worked on stripping her to her chemise, waiting for the doctor to arrive.

~*~

After nerve-racking hours of pacing while the town physician examined her daughter, he walked out of her room. His expression was serious; he was about to deliver news that he knew could destroy the precarious family.

Renee feared the worst. She was already begging that there would be some cure. Anything to help her daughter walk down the isle and live the happy life she was meant to.

Nelly walked out behind the doctor with a somewhat petrified expression. She made her way to the kitchen to prepare some thing for the young lady to eat, since she had been in bed for the better part of the day. While walking away, the housekeeper gave a silent prayer to any deity that may have been listening for the absence of Mr. Hunts.

"Well? What is wrong with my daughter? Is she ill? Can it be cured? She is due to marry soon, she needs to be healthy."

Renee rambled on the verge of being hysterical.

"Ms. Henderson please, calm down. Your daughter is not ill. I don't believe you are aware, but she is the farthest from ill. Other than a slight anomaly she quite healthy," the doctor informed her.

Her patience grew thin.

"If she is not ill, than why did she faint in the middle of my grounds? That is not normal doctor. Is it exhaustion?"

"I believe that is part of the cause of her collapse, but Ms. Henderson, how much do you know of your child's intimate life?"

"I would like to think I know all, but what does this have to do with her fainting?" she was not in the mood for cryptic answers.

If her daughter was not ill, then what in the damned hell was she?

"Well it appears your daughter is with child," the doctor said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

Renee saw red.

"She. Is. What?" she said through almost clenched teeth.

"With child, Ms. Henderson. She is carrying an infant in her womb."

"I know what 'with child' means doctor," she snapped. "How could this happen? She did attend the New Years affair together, but he seemed so respectable…"

"Pardon?" the doctor asked, not understanding her mumblings.

"Oh nothing. Will that be all, Doctor?"

"Yes, though I suggest you handle this matter quickly and quietly Ms. Henderson, it never bodes well for a woman to be carrying a bastard."

"Of course," she smiled. "Thank you for your help, Doctor, just let us know our debt."

After the doctor left, Renee's smile immediately disappeared as she stalked to her daughter's room. At entering, the sight that graced her was that of the housekeeper attempting to coax Bella to eat while she sobbed.

"You," Renee pointed to Nelly, "OUT!"

She watched as Nelly scurried out of the room with one last worried glance at the crying girl.

"I cannot believe you, Isabella. I would have thought you had the decency to wait until after the wedding. Are you truly that desperate that you would bed James before you were wed?" she said on the verge of screeching, "This will ruin your reputation! Oh, you have any idea what people will say?"

"Stop it! Stop it mother! I can't take this anymore. It's not James' child, I would never willingly go ten feet near that man let alone bed him," Bella screamed as more tears left her red-rimmed eyes.

Renee was about to ask who then would be the father of her child, when she noticed Bella clutching a note in her nimble fingers. She stalked towards her and snatched the paper from her hands before she could protest. As she read every declaration of love, and every suggestion to less than holy acts, her temper rose.

"What is the meaning of this? Jasper Whitlock, that boy, you bedded him?" with each words her voice soared.

"I love him! He is the father of my child!"

"You are a whore, Isabella. You have ruined your chance at a respectable marriage and now, because of your disgusting actions, you now carry a bastard inside you. You will get rid off it, before any more people become aware of this!"

"Don't say that, he is not a bastard. If you would listen to someone other than your petty wishes, you would have seen that I detest James. Even before you sold me to him I was involved with Jasper, but you never wanted to acknowledge that I had found love. I will not rid myself of my child," Bella shielded her stomach as if to protect her growing child.

Blinded by rage, Renee backhanded her daughter's cheek with a sickening slap. Bella held her stinging cheek as she look at her mother with appalled eyes. The smell of blood drifted to her nose as Bella lowered her hands, seeing the red liquid on her hands. She realized that Renee's ring had done more damage than a conventional slap would.

"Get out!" Renee screamed, "Get out of my house! I will not have some slut living under my roof. If you will not get rid of it, then…you are no daughter of mine. When I return to this room I better not see your sorry excuse of an ass in this house. I don't care where you go as long as it is not in my house."

She left the room in a huff, leaving Bella stunned and hurt. This was the final straw in their relationship; never would there be any familial relationship between the two again.

Nelly soon entered the room again and held Bella as she cried. Tears stung the wound in her cheek when the housekeeper noticed and cleaned it for her.

"What am I to do now, Nell? Where will I go?" Bella asked.

"I tink you shoud take the nais boy's advais, an go to his moders," she said in her thick accent while handing Bella the letters, "Use tis as proof."

She nodded solemnly accepting her fate, and started packing as much as she could carry. Redressed and packed she stood in front of her only friend, and with a final hug she picked up her bags and left, never to return to that dreaded house.

It was then, as she walked the lone mile to the Whitlock plantation, that Bella realized she was alone and pregnant. Their love had created life, a life that was now growing inside her. She was responsible now for not only her well being, but it's also.

She pondered how Jasper would take the news. Would he be happy? Angry? Sad? Would he hate her for allowing such a thing to happen? Then her thoughts turned to how Anne would react. Surely she wouldn't welcome her with open arms, especially after she explained that she was now carrying a child out of wedlock. Her mind drifted to the letters, the last one had talked about his love, and how much he missed her. Yet, he also coaxed her to confess the truth of their relationship to her mother, one last attempt at freedom. If that did not work he mentioned that there would always be a home for her at his house, which is why she was headed there now.

She arrived near midnight at the mansion, reluctant to wake anyone from his or her restful sleep. She knocked.

~*~

Rosa was sleeping peacefully, when the echoes of knocking interrupted the quiet night. Baffled by the thought of who would be at the door this time of night, she turned her covers over and lit a candle to make the journey to open the door. Apparently the knocking had woken the mistress of the house as well, as she saw Anne leaning to see who it could be.

The housekeeper was struck speechless when at the other side of the door stood non-other than the Swan girl. Her dress was tattered and dirty from the obviously treacherous journey on foot and a horrid gash adorned her tear-stained cheek.

"May I come in?" she asked weakly.

The Latin woman could only nod and allow her passage, when at that moment Anne took the last step to reach the ground floor. Without a second thought she opened her arms and the poor girl fell into them crying for all she had lost. Unbeknownst to her, she had also gained so much more.

* * *

A/N: Ok I'm sad and it may be because I lost my beta, yeah so anyone interested in being the beta for this story so the chapters can keep being so awesome pm me. Requirements are that you can spot grammatical as well as small spelling errors. Such as badly placed comas, punctuation, and run-on sentences. Like I said to in one of my tweets I'm a betas wet dream, I am always patient I know you have a life outside of Twilight FanFic so I won't pester you for my chapters until it surpasses the amount of time I find ridiculous, and even them I will be reluctant to push you for my chapter so please consider it. (P.S. If you want to be my beta I will ask nicely if you can beta the first 7 unbeta'd chaps, but only if you can) Because I needed a pick me up and you guys have been so awesome I decided to post this before I planned to. I let it pass guys instead of ten I posted at 8 reviews which is a new record thanks to all of you!! Now be nice to me and make my dreary day happy by showing your love, I have enough material from chapter 14 to make a decent teaser for all who review so there are prices!! So there you go from now on the story will be centered on Bella until further notice so you can all know what she is going through. School is starting up on monday so you all know what that means combined with my lack of beta. It means updates will be rare, I don't mean to torture you I swear but studying architecture in a trimestral college is hectic and demanding and I only have so much spare time with all the projects so I ask that you have patience with me and trust me I'm not giving up on this story until I finish it! With that I bid you farewell till next time, next chapter will be even more of a dozy with a bang ending or beginning haven't decided yet! Now press that pretty green button and tell me how much you love or how much you hate Renee, either way it makes me happy!!


	15. Kiss Me Deadly

Rena is awesome people you should thank her for this chapter coming to u so quickly give her some applause!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all it characters are not mine, I mean no copyright infringement.

* * *

**Chapter 14 – Kiss Me Deadly**

Bella's body slept peacefully on the sofa, as Anne and Rosa examined her. After her rather dramatic arrival, the poor girl had been exhausted and simply collapsed on the seat. Through all the crying, the holding, and the soothing, they still had no clue as to what had led the girl to their doorstep.

"Rosa, what do ya think led to the poor child comin' here? Look at her cheek, who would do such a thang to a pretty girl like her?" Anne whispered.

"I don't know, Señora, but I have my suspicions."

"Me too, Rosa me too. I just hope I'm wrong," wariness seeped through her voice.

~*~

The smell of food assaulted Bella's senses as she slowly woke up. She took in her surroundings and realized she was in the sitting room of the Whitlock mansion. Memories of the previous day assaulted her; the fainting, and the doctor announcing her pregnancy. Her hand lifted to feel her face and she was surprised to find the small gash had been bandaged.

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, so instead she closed them and tried to steady her breathing. How was she going to take care of a child alone? Obviously Anne Whitlock wouldn't allow her more than one night here. This was just pity for the crying, bleeding girl that knocked on her door in the middle of the night.

"Bella, darlin', you all right there?"

Startled, she turned her head in the direction of the voice. There, standing in a pretty cream dress, was the woman in question. Her heart shattered more as she heard the nickname Jasper always affectionately called her. Bella was glad to see the woman out of her mourning clothes and in brighter, lighter colors. It meant she was moving on and healing.

She nodded, the lump in her throat restricting any language or sound that wasn't crying from exiting her mouth.

"Come now, none of those tears here. You're safe; there is no reason for them eyes to be all watery. Are you hungry dear?"

Again she nodded and to add insult to injury, her stomach made a loud protesting sound for being neglected.

"Well, come on then, breakfast is on the table, and I had them make a spread just for you and me." She held out her hand, which Bella reluctantly took.

"After we get you fed, and cleaned up a bit, maybe we could sit down and talk. You could tell me what made that nasty line on your face? Don't worry, Rosa took care of it, rubbed some of her ancient gran's cure for everything. You won't even have a scar left over after it heals." She kept chatting and Bella was thankful that just the reaffirmations of the slight movement of her head were enough for answers.

To be quite frank, Bella liked the prattling woman, her kind voice and the things she said calmed some of her nerves. Unlike Renee, whose constant chatter consisted of horrid gossip on her supposed friends and their unladylike daughters.

The food, was in Bella's opinion, the best that had ever graced her palate. She hummed as the warm food assaulted her taste buds and slid down her throat warming her rather cold body. The numb feeling had dissipated slightly, taking with it the chill of her midnight walk.

Once fed, she was led upstairs where a warm bath awaited her.

~*~

The bath had finished the job the food had started, and when she stepped out of the tub her body was fully warmed. Entering the washrooms adjoining bedroom, there, lying on the bed, was a rather soft looking green dress. Seeing that the corset was laced in the front she quickly dressed herself with no need for assistance.

She looked at herself in the large oval mirror, and her eyes drifted to her even stomach. A smile graced her face as she thought of what her child would be like. Golden blonde hair like Jasper's with her father's curls on a little girls head with rosy cheeks. Maybe she would have a boy with her dark tresses and Jasper's sky blue eyes.

Her thoughts were interrupted by soft knock coming from the door.

"Bella, may I come in?" Anne voice said.

Bella's stomach dropped, she knew eventually she had to talk to the woman. She couldn't keep nodding or shaking her head to every question, but was she ready? Could she really tell her the whole story of how she ended here?

Yes.

"Of course," she managed to say.

A smiling Anne entered the room.

"Oh, I knew you'd look beautiful in that dress. Why don't we try to tame that hair a little, shall we?" she gestured to the seat belonging to the vanity.

Bella sat in the little round chair that was placed directly in front of an oval mirrored vanity. A beautiful, and what looked like a hand crafted, silver hairbrush set lay on top. She had never seen such brushes in her life, the comb looked as if it were made for a queen. Her hand instinctively rose and lightly fingered the instrument; she turned the comb to see the back and was surprised to find the letter W in a familiar script.

"They are antiques, handed down from generations of Whitlocks. John's mother gave them to me when I married him," her voice wavered slightly at the mention of her late husband.

Instantly recognizing the lettering she grabbed at her necklace but found it missing. How could she not have noticed it gone? She never remembered taking it off, even when the doctor came, she still had it near her heart.

Her mind cleared from the panic, and she stood from the tiny chair. Looking around, her luggage was nowhere to be found.

"My luggage, where is my luggage?" Bella frantically asked.

She was aware her attitude should have warranted worried looks, but that necklace was too important. Other than her ring, it was the only other thing Jasper had given her. It was his first gift to her, and that made it even more valuable.

"Calm down, dear heart, your bag is in one of the guest rooms. It's alright, I'll take you there now."

Bella calmed some and followed Anne towards said room. Upon spotting her suitcases, she ran to them. Inside, atop her strewn clothes, were two jewelry boxes. She took the larger of the two and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of her precious pendant.

"My that's a beautiful pendant, may I see it?" Anne was careful with her words, it was obvious Bella was not comfortable in her presence.

Bella warily handed the box to Anne. Once the box was in her hands, Anne took the pendant out of its confines to examine it. Much like Bella had done to the hair comb, she traced the smooth surface of the silver oval locket.

When she turned it over she gave a surprised gasp. There in the familiar script she had seen used on many Whitlock artifacts were her son's and the broken girl's initials intertwined. Her eyes rose to question the meaning, only to find the girl in question with a rigid posture. Bella's eyes were closed, ready to flinch at the moment Anne lashed out like her mother had.

"You love him."

Bella's head swiveled to meet the matriarch's eyes.

"What?" she said surprised at her calm tone.

"You love Jasper. I'm not dense Bella, and apparently I have a smarter husband than I expected," Anne mused to herself. "but, before I tell you that, why don't you explain this to me?"

Anne motioned to the locket that was now displayed open to the picture of her beloved son. Reluctantly, Bella nodded.

"Well then, lets tame that hair of yours while you tell me a story," she smiled trying to make the extremely nervous girl calm.

Sitting back in front of the vanity, Bella spun her tale. From the beginning at the ball to it's fateful end the night before. She showed Anne the ring, the letters, and cried through her retelling the events of the previous day. By the end even Anne's eyes shimmered with tears.

This was the perfect example of why she despised arranged marriages. A young girl forced to ignore her own feelings for that of her mother's whim and in the end the daughter holds so much animosity for her own mother that relationships are permanently severed.

"I am so sorry, so sorry," Bella cried into her hands.

"Dear, you have nothin' to be sorry for, I know what it's like to be in love, and I don't think this is just a one person job," she said placing a hand on Bella's stomach.

"This doesn't happen on it's own, I'll put some of that blame on my boy. I should've known he was to damn happy for it to be just this farm workin' its magic. Though I am disappointed in him. He knows better, I raised a better son than this."

Noticing Bella's hurt face she quickly recovered her comment.

"Darlin' what I meant is, he should have been more responsible than this. You two are too young for this to be happenin' to, and I expect you, young lady, to start being the example this child needs, you hear me. Now, no more of these tears, a little perfume and then we'll go have tea. How's that sound?"

She gave Bella a smile that radiated true happiness; she never seemed to have a false emotion on her face. When she was angry, depressed, happy or simply annoyed those would be the emotions she displaced.

Then it happened: one puff from the perfume bottle made her stomach churn, Anne barely had time to grab the chamber pot before Bella's stomach decided to empty itself of its contents.

"And so it has begun," Anne said lightly.

"Why?" Bella asked suddenly.

"What do you mean, dear?"

"Why are you not lashing out at me, screaming that I ruined your son, or simply put, why are you so placid?"

"Because, like it or not, that's my grand baby, a precious little child that never asked to be put in an unpleasant situation such as this. You're not alone Bella, and not everyone will turn you away for one little mistake you made to show your love for someone." With that she took Bella into her arms with a gentle hug that spoke volumes to her words.

~*~

Tea was wonderful, with conversations filled with banter and joy. It made Bella relax immensely to know that she wasn't being interrogated anymore.

"You know John once told me Jasper was in love with you, dear, and I just couldn't or wouldn't believe him. He was a man what would he know, guess he proved me wrong and all the way from the grave," sadness took over her eyes and it was easy to tell she still missed him terribly.

"Gosh, he was the perfect man, I don't think I'll ever meet anyone like him again."

"How are you coping, Anne? I can't imagine what it would be like to lose Jasper, permanently."

"Some days are better than others. I miss him everyday, just like I miss my boys," and with that conversation dwindled to an uncertain silence.

~*~

A week passed, and while Bella and Anne had agreed Bella should not leave the house, she was allowed to walk the grounds. There was no need to arouse suspicion as to where she was. After explaining everything that she had been through, Anne came to the conclusion that James would not be as easily dismissed as her mother had been.

The day was slightly overcast, the wind chilly, and thunderclouds could be seen rolling over in the distance. Bella had a sense of dread that came with storms. Even in Port Townsend she had never quite liked when thunder accompanied the rain.

As she walked towards the house, her mind wandered to Jasper. It had been a week since she had been given the news of her pregnancy and she had yet to try and inform him. She knew it was inevitable, but there was still a part of her that was scared. She wondered how he would react? Would he be angry with her, or would he beat himself for his absence.

They were irrational fears but nonetheless they plagued her mind to the point where words could not be translated to paper. Anne had encouraged her to inform Jasper of his impending fatherhood but she could not bring herself to do it.

Bella saw Anne pulling weeds. She looked up once she heard Bella's footfalls close behind her.

"Looks as if a storm is coming," Bella said as she eyed the sky warily.

"Yes, it does, we best be makin' our way inside."

Anne dropped the weeds she had plucked in a basket near the porch. Her arm came around Bella's shoulders and smiled at the somewhat somber girl.

"What's the matter, hun? Watcha doin' out on such a dark day?" she talked as they made their way through the door.

"I felt the need to leave the confines of the house, and clear my head a bit."

"And how'd you reckon that worked?"

Anne knew what was worrying the girl. It is never easy to be without the one you love, but now this girl had to go through the process of having a child on her own.

"I know I have to tell him, and I truly do want to, but what is troubling me is the how. How do I tell him in a piece of paper that he will be a father?" Bella finished with a slightly panicked tone.

"It will come to you, don't worry," the doting mother said while gently smoothing her hair.

~*~

That night, rain poured from the skies and lighting struck close by every so often. Bella lay on the soft leather sofa, poised in the library for reading, pen in hand and a blank paper waiting for words to be written.

She looked out the window to the dark scene the storm portrayed, racking her brain for words. Her thoughts ran away from where she was to what Anne had said earlier. 'It will come to you.' With pen to paper she let her mind go and allowed the words to flow from her heart.

~*~

Renee paced around her sitting room franticly. She chewed her nails to the point were she was chewing skin. Fear gripped her insides as the unwanted knock resounded throughout the house. The new housemaid she had bought went to open the door. After Bella's departure, her previous one Nelsa or something of that matter disappeared, well good riddance she was lazy anyway.

As she suspected, none other than James Hunts had entered through the door. His face turned serious as if he knew something was not right.

"I see you have gotten rid of your glaring slave," he said casually. Inside he was glad the witch was gone, less chance for her to ruin his plans.

"Yes, she was inefficient I had to sell her," she lied.

"And where is Isabella?"

"…"

"Answer me Renee. Where is Isabella?"

"Well… It seems she has disappeared. I have no knowledge of where she has gone. I was upstairs sleeping she must have run away under the cover of night," Renee said, she swallowed hard as chills ran through her veins.

"You mean to tell me, that you let my future wife walk out those doors, and you have no idea when or where she left to," his voice deadly calm, yet his stance turned predator like, with each step slowly bringing him closer.

"I… She… Oh my lord!"

Her eyes widened as his lost the lustrous greens swirls that captivated her, being replaced with dark red irises. She tried to back away, but in the blink of an eye he was right in front of her gripping her arms with inhuman force.

Thunder struck outside, almost as if it were creating even more of an atmosphere for what was about to take place.

"The Lord won't save you now. One last time, where is she, Renee?"

"I t-th-threw her o-out, I-I don't know wh-where she we-went!" she managed to stutter out, her heart pounding as adrenaline shot throughout her body.

James inhaled deeply, the smell of the adrenaline making her smell even more delicious, but still that did not even compare to the aroma Bella held. He shoved her to the floor and hovered over her, while he bared his glistening sharp teeth.

"Do you have any idea what you have done? How much you have delayed my plans? My game is now ruined!" he yelled for the first time.

"See that!' he pointed to the rain pelting the glass. "Because of your stupidity, her scent has probably washed away! Making it more difficult for me to find her, you filthy wench!"

Unexpected relief flooded her body; Bella would be safe, wherever she had escaped to. He fisted her hair and yanked her head back exposing her jugular vein.

"You will pay with your life, I was going to let you live after I married her. I'll make sure she knows what you did for her, when I find her, and I swear I will find her."

"No!"

Without hesitation he lunged, his teeth tearing into the flesh of her neck. A scream escaped her, with her futile attempts to push him off. He pulled and swallowed the warm liquid of life that was her blood. When there was nothing left, he let her body fall with a thud to the floor. Her eyes wide open in shock, yet empty of all life. James straightened his stance and turned to leave; standing in the doorway with a horrified expression was the new slave. He stepped in front of her, took her head in his hand and with a flick of his wrist broke her neck, as he nonchalantly walked out to plan the demise of his most difficult catch yet, Isabella Marie Swan.

~*~

It had been a little over a month and a half since Jasper had left his home in search of justice. Now standing in front of a small group of 14 men he had been assigned to bunk with, his reasons were becoming foreign to even him. The change he had undergone from the night he left his home to where he currently stood was similar to the difference between air and earth. While both too different to compare, both were needed to survive.

Jasper had always been certain that the military life was not what he would have chosen for himself. Or at least that had been the case since meeting Bella. Through the trainings and small battles his platoon had been to, it was her that kept him alive. She was the drive he felt to stay alive, to avoid all attacks directed to him, it was the memory of her, the knowledge that she waited for him that drove him to keep a calm head. That drive had lead to him discovering that there was more to Jasper Whitlock than his name, young, old, new to the militia, or veterans to the war, they all came to him for guidance in times where the pressure was too much.

They had all asked him more than once what his secret to being so calm and focused was, and his simple answer was Bella.

"Hey Whitlock, you got a letter, looks like it's from your gal!" one of his bunkmates yelled while waving the precious envelope around.

He tried to avoid Jasper while still holding the letter up high. The man, Silas, was bigger than Jasper, in height and weight but he was not as skillful as him. Silas made the mistake of turning around, and in one swift move Jasper grabbed hold of the arms that held the letter twisting it behind his back. Jasper kicked his knees to the ground, where he released his grip on the paper.

Taking the letter Jasper jokingly said, "You shouldn't have turned your back on me, Silas. You may have had a chance at beatin' me."

"Yeah, yeah," the gruff man whined while muttering profanities under his breath.

"Go read your God damn letter!"

He laughed at the childish antics of his mates, all the while feeling a little wariness rise at the thought of what this letter may contain. Bella had him worried about James, the way she was describing his behavior was almost animalistic in its territorialism. Yet he somewhat hoped the situation had improved.

Opening the letter, he couldn't help but smile at the familiar script of his love's hand.

_My dearest Jasper,_

_Much has passed since our last exchange. My mother now knows of our relationship, she was quite unhappy about the revelation and sadly I am no longer living in her midst. This saddens me quite some, for she will now never be part of my life again, and I had always desired a healthier relationship with her. But I have come to realize that never was possible._

_You will be glad to know, my love that my engagement to James has been demolished, and I am now residing at your family's home. Your mother and I have become quite attached, and she has helped me immensely through my current hardships. _

_Lastly, my dearest love, the day my mother and I had our falling out, I received some interesting news. We seem to have created new life. Yes, I am currently carrying our child in my womb. I expect this must be quite a shock, and it was not something I ever intended to have to write to you about, but it is the truth. _

_I truly wish you were here by my side, not in some bunker awaiting your next call to battle, but these are the circumstances we have been dealt. Don't fret much my love. I am in capable hands here, and though I miss you terribly, I understand that this is something you must do, I await your response. I love you._

_Your darling Bella and child_

His eyes were wide as saucers, as he reread the letter, again. A child, they were having a child. Oh, how he wished he could abandon his duties, it seemed so petty and childish as he thought back to why he was here, but the truth of the matter was that he was here. His responsibility was not just with Bella and their now unborn child, and as much as he wished to just pack his things and return home he knew that he was the reason most of these men were still alive. Jasper Andrew Whitlock would not be known as a deserter, this was his own doing and now he had to reap the consequences of his actions by staying true to his word, and to his men.

* * *

A/N: DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!!! Yes and with that I kill my small killing spree, we won't see much of James for now! He has to regroup ya know! I hope the big reveal on teasers didn't kill the buzz for ya'll! Moment of silence for Renee .000000000000001sec later ok moment gone! Now show me some love and review, chapter 15 is not written yet, but If ya'll want since I think I'm gonna spent more time writing that one, you let me know and when I have something good I'll send you a teaser! Tell me what you thought of this chapter, I know some of you were surprised by Anne and I explained the reasons. I don't feel wow about how Jasper found out but since the J-ass wanted to play soldier that's what he gets cameos for the next couple of chapter LOL! Naaa leave the love cause you guys were awesome with chapter 14, you broke my review records ask the girls on twitter I was f-in giddy!!! Love u all so much and thanks for the support couldn't do it without you!!Muax Nani


	16. Avalanche

Rena is awesome people you should thank her for this chapter coming to u so quickly give her some applause!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all it characters are not mine, I mean no copyright infringement.

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**Chapter 15 – Avalanche**

An animal attack: that was how the local paper described the grisly scene at the Henderson home. The coroners were baffled at how one woman seemed to have been bitten, while her servant had a broken neck. They weren't certain how to characterize the death as; murder or accident. With no evidence as to what happened, the case was quickly forgotten. All that remained was the shocked look on the face of the late woman's daughter, who to the world was missing and suspected dead.

Bella's mind was processing the words on the newspaper in front of her. Renee was dead. Surprisingly, what shocked her the most was that she hardly felt saddened, it was unfortunate yes, but she could not bring herself to care. She would never have wished this upon her, and certainly Renee had done many awful things, but death seemed like a rather extreme punishment.

She put the offensive paper down and looked at her breakfast. After reading the descriptive articles, and the bouts of sickness she had been having frequently, hunger was the farthest thing from her mind.

"Dear, everythin' all right?" her head turned in Anne's direction.

She handed Anne the paper, where the headline read _Found Dead in Home. _

"Oh my," she covered her mouth in shock.

"Indeed, is it wrong that I feel sorry for her but I'm not grief-stricken?" Bella asked, worried about her reaction to the death of the woman who birthed her.

"Sweetheart, it's understandable that you would feel that way, she put you through so much…"

"But she did not deserve to die!" Bella interrupted.

"No, she did not deserve this, but life isn't always fair. I'm sure it was her time, and you can't stop that," Anne tried to calm Bella.

"Bella, I really don't know what else could calm you darlin', but this anxiety can't be good for the baby so please try to relax. Would you like some tea for breakfast instead?"

"Tea would be wonderful, thank you," Bella replied knowing the older woman was right, stress wasn't good.

"You certainly don't look like you can keep anythin' down. Are you feelin' all right?"

"Just a bit nauseous," Bella said, her face turning paler by the second.

She had been ill quite a bit lately; the pregnancy had taken its toll on her. Meals had to be carefully prepared, to not aggravate her stomach more so than it already was. Fatigue was a constant and as much as she hated to be sluggish, the majority of Bella's time was spent taking naps at intervals during the day.

~*~

Bella slowly recuperated from the loss of her mother, and though she didn't grieve, there was an underlining sadness to her. Losing ones mother emotionally was one thing, and she had come to terms with that reality. Yet losing a mother physically, with no possibility of ever seeing her again was not something she had ever wished upon the cruel woman.

Good days were spent with Anne in the garden or reading in the library. She had come to realize that Jasper had not been joking about their library. It was extensive, books on almost any subject she desired, and when confined to the house like she was, books were the perfect way to slip away.

~*~

March became a particularly dreary month, as more news of fallen soldiers reached nearby towns and homes. Spring storms made their presence known weekly, the grass turned greener and Anne's gardens thrived with flowers in bloom and vegetables starting to sprout.

It was the time when nature, though dreary and wet, sometimes brought forth new life. Letters from Jasper had somewhat ceased, and while Bella worried she tried to maintain a calm demeanor. She had learned that worrying aggravated her to the point where she had even experienced pains. Anne had to immediately send for their family doctor, both women fearing something went amiss with the child.

The man, Doctor Hiram Georges, was a trustworthy doctor to the Whitlocks and when Anne learned of the young girls pregnancy it was he who had taken over Bella's care. After examining Bella, he had come to the conclusion that the fetus was very much still alive. He informed both women that there was no need to worry, but that Bella was in need of rest and advised that she find ways to remain calm, that her own stress could have attributed for the slight pains.

From then on Bella had made it her goal to remain emotionally calm. Even when all she wanted to do was panic, she would not put the baby in unnecessary jeopardy.

~*~

Before long, April was upon them, and Bella's sickness had completely left her. Jasper had written back, the news of his impending fatherhood brought forth a new joy in his writing. He worried and in the course of one letter asked as many questions as he could, how she was feeling, and if she was being careful. There was the underlying regret for not being there, but Bella had attempted her best at letting him know every detail that was allowed.

So on and so forth, the letters passed through May until Jasper announced that he was being moved again and would not know when he would be able to respond.

~*~

June was extremely difficult, the spring storms were forgotten as blistering Texas heat took over. Bella's protruding stomach was quickly making itself known. Anne had begun to look discretely into buying materials to have one of the farms personal workers, make the baby's furniture.

Bella had asked for the baby to be placed with her, but Anne knew the realities of motherhood and had slowly been preparing a separate room for the infant. Though it was separate, the room was just across the hall from Bella's, for her comfort and convenience.

James had disappeared from the town; no one had seen him in a public setting since the engagement party for the wedding that never happened. He became the town mystery when his house was sold; the interior of the home was empty and dirty, almost as if the bachelor hadn't inhabited it.

~*~

July, August, and September were much the same. Temperatures rose to degrees that dresses were at times unbearable. Bella's appearance was that of someone close to full term. No dress could disguise the sphere that projected outwards from her midsection. She was advised to take daily walks, and light exercise to help during childbirth.

Due to Anne's strict diet of fresh fruits and vegetables, Bella had formed great friendships with the kitchen staff, in order to get more of the food she desired. Not wanting to be chastised by the lady of the house, they would relent but only to an extent.

One discovery that had Bella gazing at her stomach more often than not was during July. An ordinary day of reading aloud, something she had taken to doing, as she imagined reading to her unborn infant. She was reading through Wuthering Heights by a man named Ellis Bell, she found it riveting, the pettiness and suffering behind the lovers was addictive.

Suddenly, a jerky movement startled her, making her drop her book. She paused unsure of where the movement had come from and after a few second nothing happened. Picking up her book she continued to read where she had been interrupted. Not more than a few minutes passed before she felt the movement again, this time her hand flew to her stomach. At the point where her hand touched her stomach, she felt a thump, then a few seconds' later two more.

A smile spread across as she realized it was her child's way of letting her know they were there.

"Hello to you, too, little one," laughter clear in her voice.

Awe and insurmountable love filled her when, at the sound of her voice, two more thumps came against her hand.

With the widest smile she'd had in months, Bella walked as fast as her stomach would allow in search of Anne.

She found her in her sitting room answering correspondence; Anne raised her head worriedly at the sound of the frantic footsteps.

"Dear, is everything alright?" she stood seeing the girl's flushed cheeks and heavy breath.

"Great, perfect, absolutely fantastic! Here feel?" Bella took her hand and placed over her stomach.

It took longer than she expected, but again there were two thumps where Anne's hand was positioned.

"My, isn't he an active little fella?" she cooed, in awe as well.

"Startled me half to death while I was reading just a moment ago," Bella said gently, rubbing her belly, soothing the active child.

The moment suddenly turned bittersweet as she realized Anne wasn't the person she wanted to run off and share this news with. He should be here, holding her, experiencing these small, yet important parts of having a child. A wonderful moment such as this shouldn't have been spent wondering whether your intended was safe.

After that, she cherished every movement and new experience twice as much, for herself and for Jasper.

~*~

Jasper was having a meeting with his superiors. They were training him, bettering him in order for him to rise to a more substantial position. He had been in battle more often than those in his platoon. Making him one of the best, for he had survived more than most up to that point.

Though no one noticed, or truly cared, Jasper's heart was slowly hardening with each battle, as friends he had made were killed one after the other.

He divorced himself from connections; the moment Silas the brute was blown away by enemy fire. There was nothing anyone could do; the bastards had taken them by surprise in their own campsite.

Jasper trained harder, his brain worked faster than those around him. Most of the men in his infantry unit owed their lives to the young man - the young man who would rather be lying in bed with his future wife and mother to his child, awaiting the arrival of said child. Instead it was nearly midnight, the sky at its darkest and he was planning their next offensive attack on a nearby Yankee camp, and how many men they could take down in the attack.

~*~

October had arrived faster than Bella would have liked. The baby's furniture had been placed in the separate room, and everyone on the plantation was at the ready for the arrival.

Bella was barely able to move on her own, due to her ever burgeoning middle. She and Anne had taken to making clothes for the baby, instead of spending copious amounts of money on already made infant dressings. They had made a few pieces and would finish even more after the birth. Lately that was all Bella was allowed to do, slowly but surely she was being driven to insanity. She was required to have an escort at all times around the plantation, leaving her feeling suffocated.

Although, she loved the connection of child and mother during pregnancy, the lack of freedom had her praying for a prompt delivery.

Knitting needles clinked as they were fast at work, creating a lace hem for an infant chemise. Bella's hands going at a slower pace as her back had been especially uncomfortable today. A ball of yarn slowly fell of the side of her chair. Anne noticed and bent to pick it up but Bella stop her.

"It is alright Anne, there's no need, I can get it myself."

Bella hated that everyone felt the need to do the things she thought she was capable of doing herself. She laid her needles aside, to retrieve the twine, but in the process of bending over a fierce pain gripped her lower back.

Anne had not returned to her task, and went into action immediately as the look of pain crossed Bella's face. Then the earsplitting scream resounded across the house. This was the alarm everyone had been expecting, the tell tale sign that new life was about to grace the world.

Her right arm went behind Bella's back, as her left clutched at the screaming girl's hand.

"Come on dear, we have to get you to lay down while someone calls for the doctor," Anne tried to coax Bella to stand from her kneeling position on the floor.

Bella could have never described the awful pain that pierced her the moment she bent to pick up the twine. As badly as she wanted to move, which she new she should, the pain was too great. Her breathing was strained, she could feel her lungs burning from holding in the air she needed to survive, but still all she could focus on was the pain.

It took three women to finally lift her off the ground, and into a bedroom prepared on the first floor for this occasion.

"Rosa, send for the doctor, and please hurry!" Anne rushed as she gave orders to the other maids in the room.

Bella was stripped down to her thin chemise, and laid on top of the white sheets. In the time it took for the doctor to arrive, Bella's womb had released the liquid it held, and her bouts of pain had increased.

Three hours it took for Hiram to arrive, and after a brief examination, he deemed Bella was midway through her delivery.

~*~

Seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to hours, sweat beaded Bella's forehead from the strain. The housemaids worked round her, mopping her forehead and cooling her overheated body. Anne rarely left her side, as she encouraged her breathing and Hiram spent his time preparing for the actual birth.

Ten hours after this all had started Dr. Georges deemed Bella ready to deliver.

"Now Miss Swan I'm going to need you to push, but only when I allow you, and please breathe, it will do your child no good if you keep holding your breath," the doctor said as he positioned himself at Bella's covered lower half.

Anne and Rosa remained inside the room as the maids scurried away to wait for the arrival of a new member to the family.

"At the next pain, you will exert all your force into the push, is that clear?"

Bella weakly nodded just before another blistering pain hit, far worse than any other. A scream ripped through her again as she put forth as much force as she could muster. The doctor's hands where under the blanket laying on her lower half as he watched her face for lack of breathing.

Anne rubbed her back gently, as she whispered words of encouragement into her ear. Tears streamed down Bella's face. Rosa worked fast to help the doctor as well as Bella when her head needed to be wiped.

Two more pains, and two large pushes later Bella was giving up. The exhaustion was clear in her face, with her red cheeks and teary eyes.

"Come sweetheart just a little more and that critter will be here in your arms," Anne attempted to coax her.

"No… ugnn…It hu-hurts too m-much… I can't," Bella sobbed.

In that moment all that she wanted was for Jasper to be here holding her just as Anne was. To tell her she could do it, for their child to join them, and meet them both together. On the next pain she held on and didn't exert any force refusing to deliver a child into a broken life.

"Isabella, you cannot do this, your child is in risk of dying we have to deliver now!" Hiram almost yelled as he scolded her.

"Hiram please allow me, your attitude is not helpin' her. Can you not see how torn she is?" Anne said.

"Now Bella dear, please, I know it's hard darlin' n' you're right, it hurts, but that baby deserves a life, Jasper wouldn't want you to do this. Come on sweetheart, when you see that little angel's face nothin' else will ever matter more but you got to push…"

"I want Jasper, I can't do this without him." Bella cried.

"Yes you can _Mija_, Jasper would not like you to think this way, _no te preocupes_ he will be back, but he will want to see this _criatura__," _Rosa interrupted them as she went back to help Bella.

The sweet mother and housekeeper stood on either side of Bella and helped her sit up as pain gripped through her once more. Yet, this time she found the strength within herself to push with all her might. They were both right and she knew as she felt herself being ripped open at the seams, that even though Jasper was not here physically, he was emotionally from his letters.

Suddenly the pressure that had been straining her for the last ten hours disappeared, and behind was left a dull ache. Small cries filled the room as Hiram did all the necessary checks and cuts, and handed the infant to Rosa where she had a basin of water to clean the child.

Several minutes later, a drained Bella looked up with heavy lidded eyes at the bundle being handed to her. When she looked at the head of blonde curls and rosy cheeks she couldn't help but be mesmerized. This was her baby, hers and Jasper's child, happy tears streamed down her face as she bent to kiss the little forehead.

"Hi darling, I'm your momma!"

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A/N: I know I'm evil! You don't even know what the baby is! In al fairness I just really couldn't resist to make you wait just a little bit longer for you to find that little bit of info. I haven't done a propper cliffie yet so this was my half assed one! LOL Not much to say about this chapter exept its mostly fluff on the pregnancy and that we are now in October of 1863 don't forget what time we are living in! Cause you have to remind me I tend to forget HAHa! Ok done with my psycho babbling, R&R! Give me something sweet for good luck on tomorrow's exam! Review! I love you all you make me so happy everytime my inbox pings! You broke another record guys be super happy which is why I rewarded you with this chap!! *muah* Love you all my wonderful readers! And remember the Indie Twific Awards go nominate before time runs out!

xx

Nani


	17. AN! So Sorry!

Dear readers,

Yes I know this isn't and update. I may have messed up something and I need to put this author's note to fix it. Nothing bad just I don't read instruction very well. LOL Ok while I have your attention I would like to point out 2 new stories, it isn't that I'm giving up on Lovers. I've just been very busy and I got majorly blocked. I'm working really hard on the next chap but like I said before if you haven't checked them out I have 2 new stories.

1) The Adventures of Emmett and the Chocolate Cowboy

My first o/s, its a little slash piece with Em/Oc, and lots of chocolate covered fun.

2) You Wanted Normal

A Twi/SPN x-over, not Ed/B, centers years after New Moon, Bella has the life Edward always wanted for her, but can an unexpected visitor reveal more than one persons secret?

I'm hoping to have the next chapter of Lovers at War done in the next 2 weeks really sorry for the wait. Thanks my very patient lovely readers,

xx

Nani


	18. Haunted

OH GOD! I know Such a long time I won't even put a lot so please, excuse the long wait and I know it's not the longest or richest chapter yet, but it was necessary.

Thank you's to Renamac and Jasper's Sex Kitten without you both this chapter would still sitting on my computer

Disclaimer: All Twilight characters belong to SM, I just like to borrow them like toys to play with...

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Chapter 16 – Haunted

Another cry split the silent night; Bella turned over on her bed and slipped out. Her window was open, allowing the cool fall night air to circulate in her room. She quietly crept into the hall and to the room in front of her own. There in his dark wood crib was her darling boy, Andrew Charles Whitlock. Anne had insisted he take his father's name.

She bent forwards and lifted the tiny wailing body, cradling him close to her chest. His newly turned light blue eyes were clenched tightly in his quest for attention.

"My sweet boy, what has you so upset?" she cooed as she examined his diaper, clean.

"Well you are not uncomfortable and I know your hungry cry, and that is not what is bothering you…"

She was interrupted when one of the housemaids came into the room, looking quite flustered, meaning she had run at the sound of the child's crying.

"Oh Miss Swan, I am so sorry, you should return to your rest, I will take care of the child," the maid said, trying to take Andrew from her arms.

Bella only held him closer, she hated when they tried to separate her from her own child.

"He is not the child, his name is Andrew, and I will take care of my own son when he calls for me. You may leave, there is no need for your assistance, return to your chambers and rest," Bella said, with a harsh tone.

Ever since Andrew's birth, her attitude had changed, her once sweet, mostly carefree demeanor had become protective. Andrew came first in her mind and she would barely let anyone other than herself, Anne or Rosa take care of him. She clung to him as though if he were not in her arms she would break.

"Yes Miss, my apologies," the maid said, her voice slightly trembling.

After her apology she took her leave, allowing Bella to relax as she took Andrew to the wooden rocking chair in the corner of the room. His cries quieted to small whimpers as she rocked him.

"There, there my sweet boy. I'm here, shh everything is alright," she cooed, softly stroking his back and kissing his forehead.

Her head turned to the window, looking at the clear star filled night, wondering if Jasper was looking at the same sky. He had been informed of the birth of his son three weeks ago, and still no response had come. This worried her, he had always managed to tell her when he would be unreachable, or when his camp would be moved, but nothing had come. Not even a man in a uniform giving them the horrifying news of his demise.

With Andrew softly snoring on her bosom, Bella found herself nodding off as well to the gentle rocking. Her eyelids fluttered and she left this world to the one of her dreams where images of Jasper's mangled deserted body, and Jasper here with them happy and healthy, waged a war in her subconscious.

_A Scream pierced the air jolting Bella awake; the first thing she noticed was that Andrew was not in her arms, nor his crib. The second was that scream had come from downstairs and it was instantly followed by the small cries of her child. Fearing the worst, Bella instantly left the chair and ran towards the entrance of the house in only her thin chemise._

_When she reached the foyer, she froze, her breathing stopped, her heart raced, standing in front of her was a sobbing Anne in the arms of non other than Jasper Andrew Whitlock._

_She could see Anne peppering him with kisses and inspecting him for any signs of injury. Seeming satisfied with her inspection, she did the most surprising thing; she slapped him upside the head._

_"Don't you ever do that to me again Jasper Andrew Whitlock, ya hear? I don't care if ya have to leave again, you'll tell me to my face, not leave a letter tellin' me where ya goin'!" she yelled._

_Bella bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing; the terrified look on Jasper's face was enough to send her into a laughing fit._

_She was brought out of her humor induced trance when Andrew's cries grew more insistent, his chubby little face was scrunched up in anger demanding someone's attention. Bella quickly flitted to her son and took him from Rosa's arms. Silence fell over the room as she cooed and calmed the baby. The cries although not gone were quieted as Andrew felt his mothers arms around him._

_"Bella?" Jasper said. His normally strong reassured voice was meager and insecure._

_Their eyes locked and for a moment Bella didn't know whether to be angry and scream at him like Anne had, or throw her body at him and kiss him senseless._

_Jasper's eyes were __careful,__ almost afraid as they saw the sadness and hardening in hers. Feeling her arms stop rocking him Andrew gave another scream in protes__t, d__rawing everyone's attention to the tiny little bundle in her arms._

_Both their eyes softened at the sight of their child. Jasper's still held an amount of apprehension but awe was now among them._

_"Hello Jasper," Bella whispered._

_Just as he began to walk towards her__,__ the images around started to burn as if made of paper. She look__ed__ everywhere__,__ her body shaking to the sides trying to hold on to some shred of the world that was bringing her so much joy mere minutes before._

Her eyes jolted open, only to meet the face responsible for her shaking form; curious blue eyes met her filled with wonder. She smiled as she always did when he would wake her up this way.

"Well, hello there," Bella said.

"Mornin' Momma!" the boy said in excited glee.

Bella marveled at how thick his accent had come out when he uttered his first words, she acquiesced it to the amount of time he spent hovering next to his grandmother. His blonde locks had grown past his ears; making him look so much like Jasper the last time they saw him.

Bella's mind was instantly brought back to the dream; it was one of her most frequent. Only months after the birth of their child, Jasper had appeared at their doorstep, bringing both joy and sorrow. His visit was far too short; he had been allowed a three-day leave to visit his family before returning to start his new rank as a captain.

It disturbed her how fast they were pulling him through the ranks. He however, dismissed it as simply the loss of so many soldiers demanding more skilled soldiers in commanding positions. Something that displeased her even more so, knowing that they were most likely increasing his chances at being injured or worse. He left with two new photos safely stored in his new journal and a golden band in his left hand.

Bella looked down at her hand seeing a smaller gold band on her finger, she sighed, the thought of being wedded bringing forth muddled feelings.

As on all the other days before, she got up robotically, taking the excited little Andrew's hand in her own and assisting him in dressing for the day. All the while, thinking of the small ceremony with the few workers and friends from the plantation that took place but a mere three years before.

So simple, with only those important in their lives and a priest who ordained the union, an odd event compared to what was traditional. There were no invitations sent, no lavish bands and no seating arrangements - just a ceremony and a meal with everyone who stayed at the plantation. Bella smiled at the memory of the long table filled with laughter and joy, no jealousy or need to compare to other weddings in the season.

After tying Andrew's shoes, she shooed him off to the breakfast table and dressed herself.

"Good morning," she smiled at Anne as she helped her grandson maintain his food out of his clothes.

"Good mornin' dear," the older woman looked at Bella quizzically. "How was your rest?"

"It was… as usual," Bella said flippantly.

Anne was aware of Bella's constant struggle through the nights. Jasper's letters had become fewer and farther apart through the years, and the toll it took was clearly seen. Her boy, her youngest son was now a Major in the confederate army, ever the passionate soldier. The pain in Bella's eyes every time a letter would come was evident. The fighting, the gore, this war had brought, so many had died, there was a grieving family member in every corner of the country.

Bella sat down next to her son at the breakfast table, seeing his tiny legs kicking up in excitement for the day.

"And what might have you so fidgety today?" she looked at her son smiling. The only smiles that almost reached her eyes these days were those directed to her son.

"Me an' Mama are goin' to the market. Can you believe that momma? I'm goin' to the market!" he exclaimed, his tiny fist pumping up and down in the air.

Bella's facial features darkened, she looked up at and glaring, "You are taking him outside?"

"Dear, he needs to see more than just this farm, it's only a quick trip, Rosa needs a few things at the market," Anne was quick to explain.

"With things the way they are you want to take him out of the house?" Bella's voice rose.

"Calm down Bella, please?"

"No! He isn't leaving, I can't go out there Anne and neither can he, it's not safe," Bella said, fuming.

Anne's fork clattered on her plate. "Isabella it's been years, with a war dying down I want to take my grand baby out of this house, he needs to see more than this!"

"No! He is my son, I say he stays in his home."

Out of nowhere a small voice interrupted the hostile exchange between the two women.

"Bu…but momma, I wanna go."

Bella's head whipped around to meet her son's blue eyes, her eyes softening as she saw the fear and sadness in them.

"Baby," she said kneeling down next to his chair. "It's not safe for you to leave the house. Don't you remember what your father is doing."

She smoothed his hair back as he nodded slightly, "Then you know very bad men are out there…"

"But momma, I can protect Mama and Rosie and Me! Please!" he whined a plea to his mother.

"Andrew Charles, you know whining is not the way to get things," Bella sighed closing her eyes.

"Alright, he can go, I'll stay here and help around, just…" she looked at Anne. "Keep him close at all times, don't let him wander."

Anne nodded, "I've had children before dear, two boys to be exact, I know how to take care of him."

Bella kissed Andrew's forehead and hugged him close, her body aching to cry. "Listen to Mama and don't scurry off on your own, alright?"

The little boy nodded and was lifted into a seat inside the carriage, Anne touched Bella's shoulder in a comforting matter.

"It will be alright, just breathe, we will see you in the afternoon," she kissed her cheek and boarded the carriage behind her grandson and left.

Bella sighed and turned back towards the house, deciding today would be a good day to write a letter to Jasper and do the wash for her son's soiled clothes.

It was 2 in the afternoon; the sun was beating down on the fields around Bella as she hung the now wet, clean clothes on the laundry line. Two housemaids were accompanying her, they chatted and joked about the daily antics of the people she now considered family.

"That poor rabbit, Andrew was so attached, it took him days to stop crying," Bella shook her head.

"Well it was Jeremiah's fault, he didn't think about the child only about his stomach. Though if I do say so myself it was a very good stew," the Henrietta said.

"Etta!" Bella chastised smiling.

"Bella admit it, you wanted another helping of it when you first tasted it," Etta laughed.

Bella hid her face laughing. "Alright, yes! It was absolutely delicious, but wrong to kill such an adorable creature."

The sound of a carriage approaching broke them of their conversation.

"Sounds like they're home Madame, you should go, we will finish here," Etta said.

"No, it's fine, let's finish here together, he will come outside in a bit," she continued hanging garments on the line, awaiting the pitter patter of her son's little feet running towards her.

They never came; instead, it was the call from Carla, Rosa's daughter and one of the cooks.

"Senora Bella, there is an officer here to see you," her expression blank but her eyes conveying nothing but fear.

Bella dropped everything, picked up the hem of her dress and ran up to the house. Stopping at the sitting room she saw a man clad in uniform his back turn towards her.

She cleared her throat making him turn around, "Hello."

He bowed curtly and said in a very emotionless voice, "Are you Mrs. Whitlock? Major Jasper Whitlock's wife?"

Her stomach dropped, she tried to breathe, but air didn't seem to reach her lungs.

She managed whisper, "Yes I am."

"Ma'am, there is no easy way to say this… husband … in action… found … horse… blood…"

The world slowly disappeared from around Bella, her breathing became labored as she fell to her knees. Sobs taking over her body, only picking up selected words of what the man in uniform was telling her. She felt when Henrietta and Carla came in and helped her off the floor, but she never responded.

Her shaking body being too much, the only words coming out of her mouth were "No, not him."

* * *

A/N: OK how much do you hate me right now for the long wait? School was the biggest bitch in the world, and I just couldn't get time to think for myself to write this. It's done it's summer so back to writing for me *grins*. I'd like to thank you all so much for reviewing, the story passed the 100th review mark, I'm so deliriously happy! Just let me know what you think, and thank you again for being so patient! Lots of Love! Reviews are like peanut butter to my Oreos YUM! *muah*


	19. Nothing Else Matters

Chapter 17 – Nothing Else Matters

"Momma? Momma?" Andrew's little finger prodded at Bella.

"Momma, please?"

Another prod to his mother's back, and still not a single reaction, as Bella stared into nothing.

"Andrew!" Anne gasped as she passed the room, seeing the blonde haired boy, trying to raise a reaction from his stoic mother.

"Sweetheart," She took Andrew's shoulders directing him away from the bed. "I told you not to come in here, momma can't be bothered right now, alright?"

The boy looked forlornly back at his mother and meekly said, "Yes."

Bella heard the door shut and she clutched the sheets around her tighter. A week had gone by, a whole week since the officer came to their door. No longer did the tears fall, but neither did a smile come to her face. She couldn't look at her son for all she saw was her husband. She couldn't walk around the house, for all she saw were memories of him.

How could he disappear? She would ask herself.

How could they only find his bloody horse?

She shuddered as another dry sob racked through her body. Burrowing herself deeper under the covers.

The door opened, Bella didn't move as she felt the bed sink by the weight of the person.

"Bella?"

Anne placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Dear, you must get up."

Bella shook her head slowly and whispered, "I can't" too low for even Anne to hear. Exasperated, Anne got off the bed and whipped open the curtains to the room. The harsh light made Bella cringe; she had stayed in the darkness for so long. Light was a ruthless reminder that there was life moving on outside her isolated room.

"Is this what you will do for the rest of your life?" Anne all but yelled.

The furious look she bestowed on Bella, would make the bravest of men cringe.

"You weren't the only one to lose a loved one, I lost my son! Do you see me wallowing? Locked in my quarters refusin' to see everyone? I may have lost my son, and you may have lost your husband, but that child out there lost his father and your attitude is lettin' that boy know he lost his mother as well!

"Is that what you want? To leave that child an orphan?"

The tears that were once thought to have stopped fell down Bella's eyes.

"What will I do without him?" Bella quietly sobbed.

Sighing Anne's eyes softened, she closed the distance between her and the younger woman. Embracing her gently as Bella's body shook with heart renching sobs.

"You will live, and you will raise your son to know his father, you will tell him all you know and I'll help you," Anne said soothingly.

Bella looked at the only person who had ever been a true mother to her and nodded weakly.

"Alright," she whispered.

"Come on sweetheart, let's get you in the bath." Anne said as she helped Bella to stand from the bed and to the bathroom.

The days in bed, and the poor consumption of food had left Bella's body weak. She layed most of her weight on Anne as they made their way to the washroom.

"Momma?", Andrew's voice drifted from the open door.

Both their gazes fell to the small boy, his frightened eyes bolted to his mother's ragged appearance. A deep wrenching feeling settled inside of Bella, this was what she had done to her own child. Forcing a smile unto her face, she looked at Andrew.

"I'm fine Andrew, go," closing her eyes to keep some of the pain hidden. "I will be down soon."

With that she and Anne entered the washroom, the warm water was scorching at her skin, yet it seemed to wash away some of the worry. As Anne scrubbed the muck that had accumulated in Bella's hair, Bella thought about what she had to do now. Her fingers drawing aimless patterns in the water, would she stay, could she? Looking around the washroom and thinking of the plantation, could she live in a place where at every inch she was reminded of that which she had lost?

Sighing she leaned back and rinsed her hair out, stepping out of the claw foot tub, and drying herself quickly, Bella knew the answer.

Dressed, Bella examined herself, the dress fit looser, her eyes looked gaunt, the life in them had diminished. Yet there was still some life in them, this was what gave her strength. She turned at the sound of quickly moving feet, Andrew burst into the room his liveliness bringing a small smile to her face. It was not the smile she used to hold in moments similar to this, but it was a start.

Smoothing Andrew's hair back, she took his hand in hers. The small action bringing a wide smile to his face. Excited of the prospect that his mother had returned to him. They walked downstairs in amiable silence, sounds of her sons chipper voice explaining the few mishaps she had been absent for.

Bella noted the house was more silent than in the past. It pained her to think how that would change ever more with the coming months. The sight of the foyer brought a sharp pain to her chest, tears brimming at her eyes as she swallowed back the urge to run back to her quarters. A small squeeze to her hand bringing her back to the child looking up at her with curious eyes.

She leaned down on one knee as close as she could get to be at eye level with him.

"Sweetling, go wait on the porch for momma. I'll be out in a short while, alright? We'll head to the stables if you'd like?"

Andrew smiled wide at his mother and nodded running to the back of the house, watching after him Bella sighed. She wrapped her arms securely around her midsection, stealing herself for what she expected to be a daunting and prolonged argument. As slowly as she could managed Bella treaded to the drawing room, forced a contritely calm expression and sauntered in.

Anne looked ever the busy matriarch to an ever diminishing family. A picture of pure bureaucratic femininity as she made sure every detail of her husbands business and investments were met.

Bella swallowed the contrite lump that lodged into her throat, her ability to breathe easily dwindling with each heartbeat. With one loud deep breath, the diligent working woman's attention was brought up to her fidgeting daughter-in-law.

"Bella…?" Anne's eyebrows furrowed in a questioning manner, as she removed the low perched spectacles off her nose.

Eyes downcast, and fingers intwined nervously in the silken fabric of her dressed, Bella stuttered, "Anne…"

Stilling her frantic heart the younger woman lifted her head and faced the matriarch's fiercely loving eyes.

"I have been… pondering mine and Andrew's circumstance," she swallowed and righted herself.

"I am aware that this has been a taxing time for us… all of us, but I feel me and Andrew would be better suited elsewhere."

A sudden frown came upon Anne's face as she took in the words Bella was spouting.

"I never meant to come here, Andrew and I are quite fond of you and I don't wish to take us away from you... but I can't stay here anymore Anne. This isn't my home anymore it holds little of value for me, this is your home," as her speech progressed Bella's voice became stronger and more assured.

Anne stood, walked slowly towards Bella and took her hands in her own.

"I would never approve of this. You are young n' foolish, but as my history with this family shows I am no one to keep you here, darlin'. I want to know where you go and I need letters. Is there anythin' I can say to make you stay?" Anne's soft voice wafted over the empty room but Bella shook her head.

This house held nothing to her, Anne was one thing that she would miss but not enough to quell the painful memories each room held to Bella.

"Alright then, we'll do this right. Sit, let's make a plan. My grandchild will not be homeless while you decide what to do with yourself."

As they both sat in the large drawing room, they devised a plan. By the time both left the room, a despondent air filled the house. As if the building itself could feel the collapse of it's once flourishing owners, the Whitlock Plantation would be merely a house with a aging widow who's family slipped away through her fingers.

A/N: I know! It took me a year to write this. In one year so much has happened, I broke with someone, quit school got a job got into the school of my dreams got with someone else, and moved! WOW I know so it's been busy hectic not very conductive to my writing. It wasn't beta'd as you can tell but it's somewhat good. I'd like to think with actual college writing classes my writing improved slightly... or not. Leave some love even if I know I haven't deserved it, and thank you for waiting. I hope to write more soon


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